UPJOKE

Two Wives Jokes

Two wives ho out for girls' night.

Both got drunk, started walking home and had to go to the bathroom. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her panties and the other grabbed a wreath off a grave. The next morning, one husband calls the other and says

"No more girls' night out. My wife came back wit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two wives have a night out

They decide to walk home, but on the way both have a desperate need to pee.
They nip into a cemetery, do the deed and realise they have nothing to wipe themselves with.
So one uses her underwear and the other grabs a wreath and uses that.
Next day there husbands are talking on the phone, vo...

I thought people would take issue with my having two wives.

But everyone said it was awful bigamy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two wives go out.

Two wives go out without their husbands.
Suddenly, they feel the urge to pee, but the without a toilet in sight the only place where they can find relief is in a nearby cementaty.
The first wife realises she has no paper so she cleans herself with her panty and throws it away.
The sec...

A Mormon brags to his friends about spending $5,000 on each of his two wives for Christmas...

"Wasn't that big of me?"

I have two wives

Bigamy, don’t you think?

Two wives go on a girl’s night out and they have to stop to take a dump on the way home.

All the shops and restaurants are closed and there’s nowhere they can go in their busy city. The only bit of grassland they can find nearby is the local church cemetery.


After they’ve both gone in the corner of the cemetery, they realise they have nothing to wipe with. One uses her pantie...

My first two wives died from eating poisonous mushrooms, the third one died from a blow to the head.

She didn't want to eat the mushrooms.

Two older couples decide to go out for dinner.

The two husbands sit in the front seat, and the two wives in the rear. The driver asks "Where should we go"? The other gentleman says "We had some great fish the other day". "Where was that?" comes the reply. The passenger gets a confused look on his face. He thinks for a bit and says "Give me the n...

An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having two wives

An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having two wives:
A - Monopoly should be broken
B- Competition improves the quality of service..
If you have one wife she fights with you, if you have two wives they will fight for you
Feel the difference lol

A man heard his friend had lost two wives in two years. He felt bad so he called to give his condolences. He asked "how'd your first wife die?" "She ate poison mushrooms." "What about you second wife?" "She died of blunt trauma to the head." "Why would that have happened?''

"She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

Prehistoric math joke

In a certain tribe, in which polygamy was practiced, a married man’s standing in the tribe depended upon the combined weight of his wives-the greater the combined weight, the more important was the man. Every year, on weighing day and according to custom, the married men would stand their wives on n...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys are walking down a street ...

A rich man, middle class man and a unemployed man are walking down a very windy street with their wives. A strong gust of wind causes the skirts of the wives to rise up and their husbands notice none of the women were wearing any panties.


The rich man turns to his wife and asks her why s...

A bus, seated with 30 married women, crashed. None survived.

The husbands of the victims all cried for a week.

But one man cried for two weeks instead — so a friend asked, “did you have two wives in that bus?”

“No, I’m sad because my wife missed that bus ride.”

What’s the difference between an IT professional and a polygamist?

The IT guy has two computers in case one goes down, the polygamist has two wives in case one doesn’t.

Two Mormon bishops are going for a walk...

They have been friends for years. One turns and says, "We've been so close for so long. Tell me, hypothetically, if you had two yachts, would you give me one?"

The other bishop says, "Why, you baptised my son! Of course I would give you one!"

"Then tell me, hypothetically, if you had t...

Lie Down Comedian

Two wives meet for coffee. Says one wife about her comedian husband: "He really sucks as a standup comedian but he's awesome as a lie down comedian" Asks the other wife: "What do you mean?" Says the first wife: "He's a real joke in bed."

[long] Another blond guy joke...

Three best friends worked in construction together on the same crew. They were working on the 20th floor of a building when they stopped for their lunch break. They sat on the edge of the building, legs dangling over the edge, enjoying the view as they ate their lunches.
Guido opened his lunch ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Construction Workers

There are 3 construction workers who are working on a very tall building. As lunch starts, they sit down on the top floor and prepare to eat their lunch.

The first guy opens his lunch box and says, "Ah man! Spaghetti again!?!? If I get spaghetti one more time, I'm gonna jump off this building...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.