UPJOKE

Second Wife Jokes

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What’s the difference between the first wife and the second wife?

The second wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

I thought my friends would be mad that I had a secret second wife.

Instead, they all said that it was big of me to do that.

(Thanks, Groucho.)

My second wife left me because I have "revenge issues"

We'll see about that...

Did you ever hear about Darth Vaders second wife?

Her name was Ella

Einstein's second wife was his cousin ...

... so I guess sometimes love is relative.

My wife has allowed me to take a second wife...

...if I can get clearance document from Saudi Arabian consulate.

Albert Einstein once published a paper about why he married his second wife.

I call it: The Theory of Relativity.

My second wife never really was on time for anything

She would just Anne Boleyn

I can't believe how supportive my wife was after telling her I was going to take a second wife

She said it was bigamy.

An 80-year-old farmer walks into a bar.

"Remember a few years back when my wife died?" he asks the bartender.

"Yes," the bartender says sadly.

"Well," the farmer continues, "now I am no longer a widower! Yesterday, I married a 21-year-old woman."

The bartender knows that a 21-year-old woman will not be very happy with...

A man heard his friend had lost two wives in two years. He felt bad so he called to give his condolences. He asked "how'd your first wife die?" "She ate poison mushrooms." "What about you second wife?" "She died of blunt trauma to the head." "Why would that have happened?''

"She wouldn't eat her mushrooms."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mushrooms

Two men who have not seen each other in over ten years are meeting for a drink

Billy: So Mark, what is new in your life?

Mark: Well, I am getting married for the fourth time on Saturday.

Billy: Fourth time, What happened to Amanda?

Mark: She died from eating poison mushro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two wives go out.

Two wives go out without their husbands.
Suddenly, they feel the urge to pee, but the without a toilet in sight the only place where they can find relief is in a nearby cementaty.
The first wife realises she has no paper so she cleans herself with her panty and throws it away.
The sec...

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