UPJOKE

Trampolin Jokes

Friends are like a trampoline

I always wanted a trampoline

I thought my son would like that I bought him a trampoline, but oh no.

he just wants to sit and cry in his wheelchair.

I just bought my son a trampoline for his birthday

But the ungrateful brat sat in his wheelchair and cried the whole time.

I've just started a new business selling trampolines in Prague

Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.

My son is such a prick. I bought him a trampoline and he won't even jump on it.

He just sits in his wheelchair and cries.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought my son a trampoline for his birthday...

But all the little shit did was sit in his wheelchair and cry.

PS:Not sure if this one has been on here before or not, a friend told it to me and I thought it should go here.

What are security officers called at a trampoline park?

Bouncers

I’ve very recently started a company selling trampolines in Prague…

My first Czech bounced.

What sound does a plane landing on a trampoline make?

BOEING!!

What was the original name for a trampoline?

It was called a jumpoline until your mom used it.

I have a real phobia of trampolines.

They always make me jump.

My wife was depressed so I bought her a trampoline to cheer her up

She's doing much better now but she still has her ups and downs.

Trampoline

I just replaced our bed with a trampoline
My wife hit the roof

what's the difference between a trampoline and a recorder?

You leave your shoes on to jump on a recorder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Today I bought my son a trampoline.

Instead of thanking me, he just starts bitching around in his wheelchair.

Did you hear about the plane that crashed into the trampoline factory?

Witnesses heard a loud Boeing!

Trampolines use to be called jumpolines

Until your mom used one back in the 80s

The man who invented the trampoline died today.

His family remembers his last words... “Look what I can do.”

A case study has found trampolines are involved in half of all ER admissions for under-14's.

The authors said the problem is tumbling out of control.

What does a bored trampoline jumper say?

"Okay, bye. I'm gonna bounce now."

I gifted trampoline to my son on his 7th birthday

I think he was so happy he bust into tears. He cried so hard that he fell out of his wheelchair

What do you call water that has been on a trampoline?

Spring water

Bouncer: "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Me: "Why?"

Bouncer: "I have no idea who you are and this is my trampoline."

Two planes jump in a trampoline

Boeing

Me: Doctor! My trampoline is sick!

Doc: I'm sure it will bounce back.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are standing at the pearly gates...

Three men die and are standing at the pearly gates in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells them, "To gain entry into heaven, you must tell me how you died."

The first man steps forward and says "Well, I got off work early today, and came home to my 10th floor apartment. Walked in, and found ...

What time of the year do big girls jump on trampolines??

Spring break..

What's the best time to use a trampoline?

Spring time.

My boss at the trampoline store just got fired...

They found out he was paying us with bounced checks.

Life is like a special kid on a trampoline

Its got its ups and its has its Downs

I put my foot through a trampoline last week...

I’ve had a spring in my step ever since.

What do my trampoline and my girlfriend have in common?

I don’t have a trampoline

My girlfriend wanted to look smart on her trampoline.

So I bought her a jumpsuit.

I had a friend who worked as a trampoline salesman for several years. I once asked him how that line of work was…

To which he replied “It has its ups and downs”.

I once told a joke about jumping onto a trampoline and nobody understood it.

I was pretty devastated, but it’s ok. I’ll bounce back.

I met the inventor of the trampoline.

He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

A friend of mine opened a trampoline business in Prague.

I asked him how sales were and said "Well, the Czechs keep bouncing."

Did you hear why they are naming Trampolines after a famous 90's rap duo?

Because Kriss Kross will make you jump jump

I'm going to travel to Prague

Once there, I will enter a bank, and cover the floor with trampolines.

They'll have to deal with a bunch of bouncing Czechs.

Back in the day, I used to be a trampoline tester...

It had its ups and downs.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?

A milkshake!

Did you hear about the leper on the trampoline?

He strained his leg.

^^^I'm ^^^sorry.

So I was jumping on my trampoline the other day when a group of thugs started to approach me...

So I decided to bounce.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Baby Jokes [NSFW] [NSFL] NOT SAFE FOR ANYONE.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take off your boots before you jump on a trampoline.

How do you make a baby spin around?
Blender.
How do you take it back out?
Nachos.

What do you call a dead baby on a wall?
Art.
What do you call a dead baby ...

Walmart just reported record sales!

In condoms and trampolines.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kids are so ungrateful these days.

I got my 11 year old nephew a trampoline for his birthday, and instead of thanking me, the little cunt just sat in his wheelchair and cried.

I’ve got a business...

What’s you business?

A trampoline company in Prague.

How’s it going?
It’s not great, the Czech’s keep bouncing...



What’s your business?

We repair elevators in high rise buildings.

How’s it going?
Meh, it’s up and down.


What’s your b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My little nephew is going to grow up to be such an asshole.

Check this out, it’s his birthday a couple of weeks ago, and, being that his mother (my wife’s sister) doesn’t have much money, we decide to get him a really nice gift. You know, something a 7 year old kid would be thrilled with. So we buy him a full-size trampoline. This thing is like 10 feet acros...

Punctuation is important. Improperly used periods can alter the meaning of the entire sentence.

For example:

Teresa was on her trampoline, moving up and down in utter bliss.

Teresa was on her period, moving up and down in utter bliss.

I just bought a new Trumpoline

It’s like a trampoline except you never bounce back from it.

I was chatting to my mate from Liverpool.

Me: So what have you got your kids for Christmas?

Him: I got the youngest a trampoline and the

other 2 a bike each I found on the internet.

Me: What website were they on?

Him: Google Earth Street View.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: I'm having a difficult time getting over my mother.

Therapist: I've got a trampoline.

A friend of mine

started a business selling trampolines to fortune-tellers.

He says prophets are going through the roof!

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