UPJOKE

Top Quality Jokes

My grandfather taught me the value of getting top quality speakers.

It was sound advice.

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

"Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl.

"No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This guy dies and goes to hell

Arriving there, he gets really sad because he didn't expect eternal suffering.
As the devil is receiving him, he asks:
- why are you sad?
The guy replies:
- because now I'll suffer for eternity.
- Relax! - the devil says. - this place ain't as bad as they say. Listen, do you like alc...

There is a lawyer in a 3000$ suit

He is well dressed, his suit is tailored, his shoes are top quality; he is a obviously very important lawyer. He goes back home and his wife is desperate, the sink has been leaking all day.

The lawyer tries to fix it, half an hour passes but he is not able to find a solution, desperate he fin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rich business man goes fishing....

... he has all the newest gear, brand new top quality rods, beautifully handcrafted lures and he sits at the side of the river enjoying his peace. Sadly though after a few hours he still has not caught a single fish. Just as he ponders to retire for the day another man approaches the river not very ...

In Soviet Russia, Chicken feed, YOU!

One day, a farmer receives a knock on the door. He opens up and it's the KGB.

Man: Good morning, sirs.

KGB: utro sobirayetsya sosat'

Man: How can I help you, comrades?

KGB: We would like to know what you feed your chickens.

Man: Of course, comrades, I feed my chick...

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