Toe In Jokes - 17 Hilarious Toe In Jokes

What do you call it when you wake up with 9 bruises and stub your toe in the late morning?

Tenth-hurty

I had a friend who lost a toe in an accident.

We aren't friends any more, I'm extremely lack toes intolerant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A was man drowning his sorrows at the bar. A beautiful woman sat down beside him and asked, “What is wrong?”

He said: “My wife just left me because I am too kinky in bed.”

The lady gasped, “My husband left me for the same reason!”

A few drinks later, they end up at her place and she says: “I’m going to the bathroom to change into something ‘more comfortable.’

Ten minutes later, she ...

A man walks into a Psychiatrists office wrapped completely from neck to toe in nothing but plastic wrap...

The Psychiatrist takes one look at him sighs and says, "Well, I can see your nuts."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jamaican guy gets invited to an emotion themed fancy dress party (terrible joke I liked when I was younger)

People start arriving before him, first is Sally who knocks on the door dressed head to toe in blue, with tear drops inked on her face. "Ah Sally nice costume, you are clearly sadness, come on in and get yourself a drink."

Next up is Andy, who knocks on the door dressed head to toe in red, wi...

The purpose of the small toe in your feet

Is really to find if all your furnitures are in their proper places.

A man loses his toe in an unfortunate accident and calls 911.

They rush him to the hospital, where he is brought to the operating room for surgical reattachment.

He wakes up some hours later in the recovery room and sees the doctor waiting at the foot of his bed, looking uncomfortable.

“Doctor? How’d it go?” he asked.

“Well... I have good ...

A woman was forced to choose between two suitors to wed.

The first man was about 4 foot 5 tall and ran a very successful store that sold many fruits and vegetables.

The other man was disgusting. He was covered head to toe in boils and bedsores and smelled awful. He had not ever even seen a bath. He was pretty much the most foul human you could imag...

If you took all the people in the world who fall asleep during church, and laid them head to toe in a straight line

They’d all be a lot more comfortable.

A naked man covered head to toe in saran wrap goes to see a psychologist.

A naked man covered head to toe in saran wrap goes to see a psychologist. He says, "Doc, something's wrong. I think I'm going crazy!" The psychologist replies, "Well I can clearly see your nuts."

Bees

Three men walk into a bar, sit down and order three beers. The first man has an iguana on his shoulder, the second man is holding a cat but not wearing any pants, and the third man is covered head-to-toe in bees.

The bartender sets a beer in front of the first man and asks, "What's the deal w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I met my wife at the zoo...

The moment I saw her there, dressed head to toe in khaki and covered in animal shit, I knew she was a keeper.

A man gets shipwrecked on a small island.

After a few days wandering, he comes across a tribe of natives who have just lost their chieftain.

The tribe's high priest tells the man that as he is the first outsider they have seen in twenty years, he must take three tests.

If he passes all three tests, the tribe will accept him as...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Man Who Needed Help.

So, a man walks into a Physiatrist office, he is wearing no clothing, but he is wrapped from head to toe in Saran wrap...

He asks the Shrink if in his profession opinion the man is okay.

The Physiatrist say; "Well I can clearly see your nuts!".

The man in Cling wrap turns aroun...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun was about to take a Bath

A nun was about to take a bath. She undressed and just as she dipped her holy toe in the water she hears a faint knock on the front door. "Who is it?" she calls. "It's the blind man from down the road!" Shuffling around, unable to find her towel, the nun races to the door and decides it would be ok...

Blind Man

I just passed a blind man in home depot. He was dressed head to toe in camouflage. I assume he was trying to even the playing field. Well done sir. (True Story)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun is walking down a street...

...when she suddenly trips over and lands in a dirty puddle and gets covered head to toe in muddy water. Flustered she goes to the nearest house to ask to use their shower. She spots an open window and pops her head through. To her surprise she sees a man furiously masturbating on his sofa. The nun ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.