UPJOKE

The Wrestler Jokes

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A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal.

Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. It ties you up in knots. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're ...

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Theres a wrestler training for the Olympic games.

Trainer trained him hard. Ran 10 miles a day. The day of the Olympics came and he was in amazing physical condition. First guy he had to fight was a German. He beat him. Next was an Australian beat him, the French beat them.

Last guy he had to fight was a great big hairy Russian. The co...

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A pro wrestler is down to fight The Mad Monk, and his manager says to him:

"Whatever you do, don't let him put you in the Mad Monk Hold. That's his signature move and no-one's ever gotten out of it."

But about five minutes into the fight, sure enough, our boy's all wrapped up like a human pretzel, with one arm going one way, one leg going another way, his spine all ...

A wrestler, the pope, and a horse walk into a bar

The wrestler walks up to the bartender and says, "I'd like 3 drinks for myself and my friends here!"

The pope suddenly says, "I'm sorry, but I can't indulge in alcohol since I'm the pope."

The horse says, "Well, you took me here, but you're not making me drink."

The wrestler s...

The Wrestler.

There's an up-and-coming wrestler, and I mean a real wrestler not that glitzy camp showman stuff. Sweat and muscle. And he's good; with the able assistance of his manager, he's rising steadily in the ranks.

In fact he's so good, that he decides he can do it - he asks his manager to set up a t...

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World Wrestling Championship. At the final are American and Japanese wrestlers.

Before the game, the American coach said:

- See John. I have not told you yet, but this Japanese is very strong and very corrupt. He has a favorite grip. If he applies it, everything is lost.

- No problem, trainer. I'll handle him somehow.

The fight begins. The wrestlers go out ...

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An American wrestler prepares to face the Russian in the Olympics....

..... the americans coach is explaining to him to win the gold medal he must defeat the Russian. The Russia has never lost a match because he has a move called " The pretzel " every opponent trapped in the pretzel loses the match. So the wrestler and his coach devise an entire strategy devoted to av...

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A redneck wrestler

has beaten every opponent he's been up against and is now going international. Before the match against the Russian champion, his coach sits him down.

"Now, look, you're faster and more agile than this guy. He's big and strong, but just keep moving and let him tire himself out and you can b...

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The wrestling match was about to begin...

...and the Contender's coach was once again lecturing the Contender.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times-don't let the Champion get you in The Pretzel! No one has ever been able to get out of The Pretzel!"

The Contender nodded his head, getting ready for the match. ...

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The Pretzel hold

For years, there has been the champ, and nobody has been able to beat him because of his "pretzel hold". Eventually, this wrestler was good enough to beat the champ, except for the pretzel hold. He got his chance, and took to the ring. Within Minutes, he was slammed into the Pretzel hold, and the cr...

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A wrestler meets with his coach

A wrestler meets with his coach about his next match. His coach tells him he will be facing the greatest Russian wrestler and he's known for his move called "the pretzel" no one had ever escaped the pretzel before, once you we in it, there was no way out.
The next day it was time for the match, ...

American Indian female wrestling

A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the animal hide with which they made their blanket. Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide. This tribe had a particularly large and strong woman, with a very unique...

The Russian Pretzel. Slight NSFW

It is the day of the World Championship in Freestyle wrestling. Just before the Gold medal match, a coach is giving one last pep talk before his man goes on the match.
"O.k. This Russian is known as the best of all time. He has gone undefeated for 7 years now and it is all because of his famous P...

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Wrestling

The World Wrestling Championship was being held in the UP of Michigan, at the "Paper Clip Center' just outside UMPsville, between the 2 finalists, a American and a Russian. The Russian was known for his "Pretzel Hold". No man in history had got out of the Pretzel Hold. The Russian had won 1 bout and...

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Balls of Steel

Two wrestlers an American and a Russian were the finialists in the World Championship event.

They were preparing to meet each other in the final round and the American coach was giving instructions to his star wrestler.
The coach was saying, "Beware of the Russian and his famous hold - the...

Drunk Wrestler

A professional wrestler was visiting his friend in a small town,and one night they stayed little too long at the pub.Not wanting to drive,they decided t walk home.As they were crossing a farmer's field,a bull charged them.The wrestler grabbed the bull by the horns,and they went down in a snarling he...

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