UPJOKE

The Type Of Jokes

My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away

He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade

Although fiber helps pass stool, you need to be careful about the type of fiber you ingest.

From my experience, T-Shirts work well but Jeans are a big no.

What do you call the type of guy who *always* leaves the party with his ex-girlfriend?

The groom

I never thought I’d be the type of person to wake up at 5 in the morning to exercise.

I was right.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The type of girls I date are just like my credit score...

Every time I pull out my credit card, they both go down on me.

What do you call the type of nut that has facial hair?

Moustachio

What's the name of the type of force that holds a baby in the mother's womb?

Centrifetal

Unfortunately my style of humour is reflected in the type of woman I attract.

Dry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the type of medicine porn-lovers use?

Neosporn.

My friend Ellis is the type of guy who tells us everything about his life. But as a teacher, he's very closed off towards his students.

To them, he's just a Mr. E.

I didn't think i was the type of person that only liked expensive food...

Then I moved out and saw that all food was expensive food

You can tell a lot about a person's personality by the type of car they drive.

I haven't got one.

Guys I need help. What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself?

I can't even

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy gets hired as a salesman at a huge big box store...

....the type of store that sells everything.

At the end of the first month he is top salesperson, and the boss calls him in for a chat.

"You're amazing" says his grateful boss, "your first month on the job and you're top salesperson already! Not sure how you do it, for example just the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In my past life, I was a message delivery man in an army base

One day, I got a letter for Bravo Company, and took off to deliver it as quickly as I could. When I found them they were doing exercises in one of the yards, I walked up to the sergeant to deliver the message.

He took the letter, read it over, folded it and put it in his pocket. Then he yell...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.