What did the SNAIL say while riding on the turtles back?
" Wheeeeeeeee"
The gun fight between the turtles and tortoises was barbaric!
Empty shells everywhere.
What berry are the turtles allergic to?
Strawberry
Little snail was beaten up by the turtles...
The snail's father asked him: "What happened?"
"I don't know... It all happened so fast..."
One of my friends wants to be a turtle breeder, but he can't get the turtles to mate.
He has a reptile dysfunction.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
snail and the turtles
so a snails walking home late one night through a seedy neighborhood. When a few young punk turtles come up and jump the guy. i mean really beat the living shit outa our ol pal the snail. he wakes up a few days later in the hospital and the cops are right there pressing him for information "What hap...
3 Girls die together, & went to heaven
Saint Peter said, "We have only one simple rule here. Don't step on the turtles, walk carefully"
Girl 1 walks uncautiously and steps on a turtle. Saint peter - what have you done? We are going to give you one of the worst punishments. Girl 1 - It was by mistake, just give me one exc...
I was thinking about adopting a rare turtle today…
Ever since the oil spills in the Gulf of Mexico the turtles have been different. Apparently some of the dish soap used to clean the animals leaked into the ocean and the turtles drank it. It doesn’t harm the turtles, but they have the weird ability to pee out the dish soap.
Anyway the turtle...
Three women die and end up at the entrance of heaven.
There, the three women meet the caretaker of heaven. He points out that there is only one rule in Heaven; do not step on the turtles. An odd rule but the women agree with a pinch of confusion. When they enter, the only thing they can see are turtles. Everywhere turtles. A croak croak here, a croak c...
A man suddenly appeared at the gates of Hell… (Story Joke)
He looked up to see the Devil sitting at a chair.
“Hello my friend,” The Devil said kindly, “How are you this fine eternity?”
“A bit confused,” the man replied, “I didn’t realise that I was dead.”
“I understand,” the Devil said sympathetically, “Why don’t you tell me how you go...
Three women die in an accident together and go to heaven.
They meet god at the door, and he says "there is only one rule in heaven. Don't step on the turtles."
So they go in, and sure enough there are millions and millions of turtles on the ground, and it is near impossible not to step on one.
So the first woman accidentally steps on a turt...
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