In honor of my Cake Day, I offer a joke I heard from an 8 year old. Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she didn’t have any hands.





Knock Knock

— Who’s there?

Not Sally

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel and Peter Fonda are hanging out towards the end of the Swinging Sixties...

*Easy Rider* has just come out, Simon and Garfunkel are about to release *Bridge Over Troubled Water*, and the three men are the epitome of counter-culture cool. They're all pretty stoned, and Paul Simon turns to Peter Fonda, and says, "Hey, Peter, you wanna see something really groovy?"

Pete...

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did the jewish girl on the swing do?

Fuck with the German snipers.

The Swing Bar

Jim's friends take him to a bar he hadn't been to before then. It was like any other joint, minus the oddly cheap booze, and the group of people huddled in the corner.

Jim asks the bartender what they're doing, and he explains that they're having a "swing".

Jim and his friends venture...

Why did Annie fall of the swings?

She had no arms.

What did Annie get for Christmas?
She doesn't know. She can't open the box.

Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Annie.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she has no arms.


Knock knock
Whos there?
Not Sally.


What did Sally get for Christmas?
We don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.


What did Sally get for her birthday?
Cancer.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

@&#<#&*@>×>!!*

Two Antennae met on a roof, fell in love, and got married.

The ceremony wasn't that good, but the *reception* was incredible!

^@<#@*@:×>×&@!*!>@

A pastor was filling out paperwork at his desk, wh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the Syrian girl doing on the swing?

Pissing off the sniper

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?

She didn't have any arms.

Bonus: Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not the little girl...

A dog with a cowboy hat, spurs and a cigar limps in through the swinging doors of a saloon...

...He says, "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.

Knock Knock. Who's there?
Definitely not Sally.

Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck

Why didn't the truck turn out of the way?
Sally Was driving

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does the jewish kid do on the swing?

Pisses off the sniper.

An Old West dime store writer walks into a dusty town...

An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). "Mind if I play?"

The others ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his wife are lying in bed when they hear a knock at the door.

The man hears that the wind is blowing a gale and the rain is is getting heavier and decides it was just the wind and goes back to sleep.

A few minutes later they hear it again so his wife says "Honey, go check it out. It might be bad news"
The man reluctantly agrees and goes to the front ...

A man is in bed with his wife when there’s a knock at the door.

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over.

Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the doo...

Chapped Lips

An old Texas cowhand came riding into town on a hot, dry, dusty day. The local sheriff watched from his chair in front of the saloon as the cowboy wearily dismounted and tied his horse to the rail a few feet in front of the sheriff. "Howdy, stranger," said the sheriff. "Howdy, Sheriff," said the cow...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bloke is in bed with his wife having sexy time when there's a knock at the front door...

It's 2am and bloke isn't impressed but the knock is persistent so he goes downstairs. Opening the front door he sees it's blowing a gale and raining sideways and there's a man standing there, bedraggled and soaked.

"Excuse me can I have a push?" the man gasps.

"Fuck off!" says bloke, s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man hears a knock at the door late at night...

A man hears a knock at the door late at night.
He goes downstairs and answers it.
There’s a man stood there, and he said
“Hi mate, is there any chance you can give me a push?”
The homeowner said angrily,
“Do you know what time it is? It’s nearly 3:00, I’ve got to be up for work in 2...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tried to translate a Turkish joke, hope it makes sense

Temel and his wife Fadime were at an amusement park. Fadime asked Temel if she could swing on the swing set. He refused, saying that other people would be able to see her panties. She asked him several times but Temel said no.

Minutes passed by and Temel had to use the restroom. When he got b...

There's this bartender . . .

It's the wild west and a bartender is behind the bar, polishing glasses and going about his normal day's work. Suddenly, a man bust through the saloon doors and yells, "y'all gotta get out of here! Big Bad Barts comin!"

Half of the patrons rush out the front, while the other half runs to the...

A couple is asleep when their doorbell rings at 3am.

The wife shakes the husband and says "honey, there's someone at the door."

The husband, irritated gets up and opens the door to an obviously drunk man. "Can I help you?

"Could you give me a push?" asks the drunk man.

"Hell no, and besides you are drunk" and slams the door shut.<...

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