UPJOKE

The Short Jokes

What happened to the short sighted circumciser?

He got the sack.

You gotta hand it to the short people out there

They can’t reach it by themselves

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm glad the short form of cockroach is roach and not the other way around.

I dont think people want to hear 'There's a cock in my bedroom'

You ever heard of the short tempered doctor?

No? Makes sense, he doesn't have any patients.

Melvin capital was caught with their pants down by the short squeeze

but it seems the SEC didn’t like seeing a full debriefing

Took a short cut through the cemetery last week

I saw four pall bearers with a coffin on their shoulder walking along a row of headstones. Didn't take much notice and carried on. An hour later on my way back I took the short cut again and they were still there, walking up and down.

I thought to myself, those men have lost the plot.

The short version of a long joke

Bernie brags at a bar that he knows lots of celebrities, including Clint Eastwood. When Phil calls him a liar, they bet on it, and Bernie takes him to Clint's house, where Bernie receives a warm welcome.

Weeks later Bernie brags about knowing the queen of England. Sure enough, Phil scoffs at...

Really sick of seeing so much infighting in the short community

We should really be lifting each other up

“But painting a giant mural is going to cost us lots of money in the short term!”

“Well, you’ve just gotta think about the big picture!”

Some people didn’t remember the plot of the short story The Lottery (By Shirley Jackson)

But when they did, it hit them like a rock.

Don’t make fun of the short guy hanging his still-life pictures

That’s just low hanging fruit

Many gardeners mistakenly refer to the short, bearded statues they decorate their gardens with as "Elves".

It's a common misgnomer.

My friends were making fun of the short kid and asked me to join in.

I told them I wouldn't stoop down to their level.

Did you hear about the short psychic who broke out of jail?

There was a small medium at large.

What did the doctor say to the short guy in a hurry?

You're going to have to be a little patient.

„Mom, I‘m almost 18 now. Ashley and Nicole always wear the hottest outfits in school and their parents don‘t mind. So please, please can I wear the short black skirt and the cute white top tomorrow?“

„For the last time Robert, no!!!“

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

What do you get when you combine silver, a personal pronoun, a tattoo, and the short form of Edward?

Ag I tat Ed.

I'm veeeerrrryyyyy agitated.

To all the short, fat and round people...

Don't feel bad about yourself, just roll with it

Why did the short carnivore hate poker?

Because the steaks were too high.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man loses his ass at a Las Vegas casino... (NSFW)

He has only his return plane ticket and a stash of cash at home, but not a penny with him. He sees one cab outside of the casino and pleads with the driver to give him the short ride to the airport, and he'll send the driver double his fare when he gets home.

"Goddamn filthy losers", says the...

Did you hear the one about the short person who tried to start a fight?

It's a real knee knee-slapper, I tell ya!

What did the lawyer say after the short trial?

That was a brief case.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The thing I love most about this summer weather is the short shorts and tube tops..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

you met the short guy who came out of the cupboard?

that was a low blow

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