UPJOKE

The Fold Jokes

Today I learned that the folds in the iris of your eyes are called crypts

No wonder I find them so cryptivating

The Pope dies and ascends into heaven. St Peter mets him at the Pearly Gates and welcomes him into the fold.

"Pope, welcome. We would love to make your stay here as comfortable as possible in return for your faithful service to the Lord during your time on earth. What could we do for you?"

The Pope replied "I spent my life studying the word of God, but it was always in the hand of man, and therefore...

A dad bod is like a poorly designed website.

The best part is below the fold.

Read This One In Playboy Decades Ago

You older pervs will have heard this one.

So a young couple were out driving late, and got caught in a snowstorm. Wouldn't you know it? The car stalls while they're out in the middle of nowhere, and has to pull over to the side of the road.

The man pops the hood, exits the car & pr...

"Let us gradually stand and recognize our newest member of Overeaters Anonymous...

...and welcome him into the folds."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandma Edna had to get a job...

...so she applied and was hired at the toy factory where they make Tickle-Me Elmo dolls. She was led to her station near the end of the assembly line where the foreman told her what was expected of her.

A couple hours later, the foreman came back to check on her. He stood behind her and o...

How are girlfriend like cults?

You have to prove your devotion before you're welcomed into the folds.

What's the difference between origami and a grandpa passing wind?

One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.

A man bought a new shirt.

He washed it as soon as he got home. Before putting it away, he said:

"Welcome to the fold."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man broke up with his girlfriend and decided to go to Jamaica to cheer up.

He went to an all inclusive resort. He ate and drank like a king; the only problem was the beach outside the resort was a NUDE beach.

He was feeling self conscious because he had a tattoo of his girlfriend's name on his penis.

Erect it said "Wendy", but when flaccid, some letters got ...

A dog walks into a telegraph office

It is a quiet Friday noon in New York and a young telegrapher is minding his business when the bell on the door suddenly chimes and a dog walks in.

The telegrapher looks perplexed as the dog hands him a piece of paper and says in perfect English: “Hello sir. I would like to send that to my f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you find an obese woman's vagina in the dark?

Go through the folds of fat until you smell shit, then go back one.

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