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Tattoo Shop Jokes

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A Man Walks Into a Tattoo Shop Asking for $100 bill on penis

A man walks into a tattoo shop and asks to get $100 bill tattooed on his dick. The tattoo artist is surprised and intrigued by this request. "Uh, are you sure about this sir?"

"Yes, I'm sure and I'm willing to pay whatever."

"Ok. May I ask why this particular tattoo in this particul...

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A woman walks into a tattoo shop...

After her session, she lifts her shirt.

Woman: "I trust these will cover it?"

Artist: "Wh-what are you doing?"

Woman: "I'm paying you."

Artist: "I'm confused."

Woman: "You know? Tit for tat."

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I walked in to a tattoo shop and the artist was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen

I told her I want your name on my dick. She said "ok. $500" I pulled my pants down and she got to work. When she was done I looked down and saw "YOUR NA" and asked "where's the rest?" She replied "there wasn't enough room for me."

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I know a tattoo shop where you can get inked for free if you let them put a picture of your breasts on the wall

Tit for tat

What did the robot say to the guy running the tattoo shop?

I'd like to get my nickels pierced.

Going to the local tattoo shop to get a realistic tattoo of a band aid on my elbow.

I'm just hoping that they can pull it off!

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A man goes to a tattoo shop

A man goes to a tattoo shop and he says to the artist: "I'd like you to tattoo a Ferrari on my dick!"

The tattoo artist is bewildered by this strange request, but he likes the idea and even comes up with another idea: he asks the man to bring his wife to the tattoo shop, and the artist will ...

I'm opening a tattoo shop where I give free tattoos to girls who show me their breast

I'll call it "Tit for tat"

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A lady walks into a tattoo shop

A lady walks into a tattoo shop to get a tattoo.

The lady say, "Hi! I'd like to get a tattoo on my buttcheeks."

The tattoo guy says, "What would you like to get?"

The lady says, "That's the problem. I don't know what to get."

The man thinks this over for a while, and even...

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A guy goes into a tattoo shop and asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis.

Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and a hundred dollars seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."

Mike wazowski opens up a tattoo shop

Called Monsters Ink

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Elvis tattoo

Women walks into tattoo shop and asks artist if he could do a portrait tattoo of Elvis Presley on her inner thigh. He says of course and they negotiate a price $500 and he gets to work.

After a few hours the artist says it’s done. Women looks at the tattoo and was not satisfied. “That’s an e...

Geometry professor goes into a tattoo shop and asks to get π on his back.

After a few hours he asks the tattoo artist, "Why is it taking so long to do the symbol for pi?" "Oh!" said the artist, surprised. "You wanted the *symbol*."

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A man gets his wife's name tattooed on his pp (nswf)

A man goes to a tattoo shop to get his wife's name, "Wendy" tattooed on his pp

The tattoo artist agrees but says that it'll say "Wy" when he's soft and "Wendy" when it's hard. The man says he's fine with it and gets it.

A few weeks later he and his wife are on a vacation in Jamaica whe...

A lady decides to get a tattoo

A lady who is a huge Elvis fan decides on his birthday to get a tattoo of the King to commemorate his life.

She goes to a well-known tattoo artist in town and asks that he put the ink on the inside of her thigh. The artist draws it out and asked her, “Do you like the design, and is right her...

Granny tatoos

80 year old woman walks into a tattoo shop, looks directly at the artist and says "I want to get a tattoo".

The artist hesitantly replys "Well, ok where would you like this tattoo?"

Old lady: "actually I want two, one on the inside of my left thigh and one and the inside of my right th...

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