A man who has just died finds himself standing at the gates of Heaven. To his right he sees an attractive woman, and to his left is a ladder. The woman says, "Come with me through the gate and spend eternity with me, or climb the ladder to success." The man, always eager to get ahead in life, choose...
Communist party gathers, main speaker is Stalin. Someone sneezes.
Stalin: Comrades, who sneezed?
Silence.
Stalin: I ask again, comrades, who sneezed?
Silence intensifies.
Stalin: Shoot down first row!
Guards spray the first row with bullets.
Stalin: Comrades, i ask AGAIN, who sneezed?
Dead silence.
Stalin: Sh...
My uncle was in the navy, stationed on an aircraft carrier.
One day during inspection he had a ketchup stain on his shirt. This had the natural punishment of kitchen duty.
That night he reported and there was a big, fat, sweaty man in a wife beater making hamburger patties for dinner the next night. He'd pick up a handful of beef, put it into his arm...
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