UPJOKE

Such Bad Jokes

America is going through such bad luck at the moment

It's as if the whole country were built on haunted Indian burial grounds...

Why are skeletons such bad liars?

Because you can see right through them.

Why do woman have such bad memories during their period?

Because one day bleeds into the next.

Why are quantum physicists such bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can’t find the momentum. And if they do find the momentum, then they can’t find the position.

The United States has such bad luck

It's almost as if it was build on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

People in France have such bad pronunciation

They called me a bigot I'm pretty sure they meant baguette.

Why are Russians such bad pilots?

Because they're always Stalin.
Thank you, good night.

America is having such bad lucky recently like it’s cursed!

It’s almost as if it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground or something...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do innie belly buttons make such bad criminals?

Because they can't stop attracting the fuzz

Why did the amputee have such bad luck robbing banks?

He wasn't armed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I find Nazi jokes in such bad taste because my grandfather died at Auschwitz...

He was drunk and fell off his observation tower.

Why did Hippocrates have such bad acne?

Because he showered in greece

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why are chameleons such bad sexual partners?

They come and go

Why do the French make such bad farmers?

They hate the germination.

Why do T Rexes have such bad anger issues?

Because their fathers never hugged them.

I have such bad luck getting a girl to come over...

I watched the video from "The Ring" and the creepy chick called seven days later and said something came up and she couldn't make it.

Four priests decided to enjoy the beautiful weather and went golfing in polo shirts and khakis.

However, their game was not going well, and after a series of terrible shots, the caddy asked, "Are you guys priests?"

"Yes, we are," replied one of the priests, "Why?"

'Because,' said the caddy, "I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There once was a supercilious king who liked hunting.

To show off his abilities, He went in a jungle to kill a lion with only one bullet in his revolver. He waited in bush for lion to come. After a few hours, a lion showed up. He aimed at lion and fired his only bullet. He missed and lion ran away. He became upset and screamed, "HOLY SHIT, I F\*\*KING ...

A Korean immigrant was beaten up by police after they asked for his name and registration papers during a routine traffic stop.

"I never have received seen such bad behaviour by cops" said Mr Fuuk Yu.

A guy with bad luck goes fishing and catches a golden fish

This might work better at /r/dadjokes since my dad told me this one but what the hell

So the fish says to him that he would usually get 3 wishes,but since he has such bad luck he gets one, so he starts thinking about what to wish for and he says to the fish: "I wanna be a prince!" and the fis...

Al, Ben, and Carl were fishing in the middle of a lake when Al fell overboard.

Ben jumped into the lake to rescue Al. When he finally found Al, he threw the body onto the boat and Carl pulled him up.

As soon as Ben was safely in the boat, he noticed that Al wasn't breathing, so he quickly gave Al mouth-to-mouth.

"Yuck!" said Ben. "I don't remember Al having such ...

I hate it when my condiments make that farting noise.

Such bad mayoners.

Three guys are out fishing when Dave falls out of the boat and sinks like a stone.

The two left start panicking and pull in their rods but one is caught on something.
Pull him up,pull him up, they both heave till he is in the boat and not breathing.
I know mouth to mouth yells Steve and gets right down to business administering first aid to their fallen buddy Dave. After a c...

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