Stop Talking Jokes - 33 Hilarious Stop Talking Jokes

Why couldn't the prisoner stop talking?

He couldn't finish his sentence.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Girls can’t stop talking about my huge dick

All week I’ve been hearing “what a huge dick” every time someone mentions me

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I turned to beastiality because my wife wouldn't stop talking, talking, talking.

But now its just yak, yak, yak.

My friend wouldn’t stop talking about file compression

So I told him to “*zip it*”

How do you make an Italian stop talking?

Handcuffs.

On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...

*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.

The woman ignores him.

*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*

The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Therapist: you need to stop talking to yourself

You're doing it right now

Did you hear the one about the Seahawk who wouldn't stop talking?

He kept beating a dead horse.

Why did Miss.Piggy stop talking?

she had a frog in her throat

My girlfriend told me she would lick my bumhole on the flight if I stop talking about my favourite Bethesda game.

I can't wait for my Skyrim.

My buddy, who's a blacksmith, won't stop talking about how awesome his new dog is.

Apparently, as soon as he got him, he made a bolt for the door.

How you get a drug dealer to stop talking to you?

You unplug

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My therapist says I should stop talking to the voices in my head.

But my wife says I don’t have a therapist.

C'mon, guys. Let's stop talking about pi day.

Its getting irrational.

What did the man say when Sarah Palin wouldn’t stop talking?

Oh no, it must be Palindrone Week.

If you don’t stop talking to me in Scooby-Doo references it’s over

Alright gang,let’s split up

There's a new 12 step program for people who can't stop talking.

On-and-on-anon.

When someone tells you that the integers are a more useful set of numbers than the natural numbers, stop talking to them.

You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

My friend's new flame is in a wheelchair. Despite that he is madly in love and can't stop talking about her.

Personally i find her pretty lame.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife said if I didn’t stop talking about work she’d leave me. She got sexy and asked my favorite position to help.

I guess “ceo” was the wrong answer. She’s leaving me.

Once, in an African village,

a native man walked up to a missionary with a look of fury on his face. "My wife gave birth today," the native growled, "and the baby is white! And you're the only white person within 100 miles of here! "
The missionary glanced around guiltily for a moment but quickly regained his composure. "Loo...

My girlfriend got the COVID vaccine and it seems like the main side effect is...

...that she can't stop talking about getting the COVID vaccine.

"Are you coming over?" "Yes, I'm coming over."

"We should probably stop talking using the radios, over."

All world leaders should be women!

Instead of going to war, they would just stop talking to each other.

I’ve discovered that alcohol contains female hormones

After drinking you can’t drive, you never stop talking and have to sit while peeing.

Guys, I think my cat is a communist!

He won't stop talking about Mao!

Mr. T was getting his COVID-19 vaccination

and the nurse wouldn't stop talking.

He said, "Quit your jibber, jabber."

My wife has been trying to teach our son sign language

I was skeptical at first because she started so young, but he is starting to catch on. Without a word I watched her ask if he was “all done” or “wanted more” food during dinner. He tapped his fingers together, signaling he would like more food. I sat in disbelief as she added more food to his plate....

An Elf Ranger was touring the remote mountain village in which he lived, when suddenly a man ran out of the house and came up to him.

"Ranger!" the man demanded. "My wife recently gave birth to an Elf! And you are the only Elf anywhere around here, everyone else is human! Explain yourself!"

"Now, don't judge too harshly," The Ranger answered and pointed towards the boars in the man's front yard. "You see, boars are normally...

A girl I am dating said, "I expect to be treated like a Disney Princess."

So I told her to pretend she is the Little Mermaid and stop talking.

I went pillow shopping the other day but I left angry [OC]

The salesman wouldn’t stop talking down to me.

Time's Person of the Year 2020 will be a Sikh man.

People just can't stop talking about this Saushal Dastan Singh fellow.

A couple are walking through a graveyard and see a man crying at a graveside.....

As they get closer they stop talking to show respect, and overhear him crying: "Why did you have to die? My life was so perfect. I'd wake up every day happy and looking forward to life. Now everything is black, and I wake up every day wondering how much longer I can go on."
He notices the ...

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