UPJOKE

Speaking English Jokes

Two Indians are walking beside a river...

One reaches down into the mud and runs it through his fingers.

"The White Man was here."

"How can you tell?"

"We're speaking English."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Problem with Speaking English

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer f...

My Korean girlfriend makes some cute mistakes when speaking English. For example:

"Fishing stick" instead of "Fishing rod"

"Tropical tree" instead of "Palm tree"

"Ant-licker" instead of "Uncle"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Japanese man walks into a bank...

... and goes up to the teller. Even though he is new to speaking English, he says, "I wish to exchange 400 of my currency for US dollars. The teller proceeds to do so and they politely part ways. A few days pass and the Japanese man again walks into the bank, again to exchange the same amount curren...

An American and a Frenchman are sitting in a bar having drinks.

After a short while they start arguing about which country is better.

The American says, “If it wasn’t for us, you’d be speakin’ German!”

The Frenchman takes a drink and replies, “And if it weren’t for us, you’d be speaking English.”

Keeping the job

As a non-native English speaker, although I am speaking English relatively well and I know how to do my job, I had difficulty finding and keeping a job. Turns out there is a huge difference between 'hard working', 'hardly working' and 'hard at work'.

Its Before not "be fore"

We're speaking English not Bingo.

What's the difference between a German and a Scot?

The German knows when he's not speaking English.

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