UPJOKE

Something Cool Jokes

Need something cool to say

Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell?
“Yep, gravity still works!”

Today I saw a license plate that said 420-fps

Their is no joke I just want to share something cool but I have no friends

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Like father, almost like son.

Little 8-year-old Jimmy was getting ready for school in the morning, when he decided to go see what his dad was doing. He walked into his parents' room only to find that his dad wasn't quite dressed yet. He had his robe on, but it wasn't fastened and hung loose.


Little Jimmy glimpsed at h...

You know I've always liked the arctic

There has always been something cool about it

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A penguin was driving through town

Heading up a small hill, his little penguin car started having trouble pulling the grade. Seeing a mechanic shop, he pulled in. He explain the issue to the mechanic, who tells him it will take about an hour for him to get to it. "So what am I supposed to do for an hour?", the penguin asked. THe mec...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar

He goes to the bartender and says "You want to see something cool?"
Bartender says, "Sure, why not"
The man pulls out a little man from his pocket and places him on the table.
Man asks, "You want to see something even more cool?"
Bartender says, "Of course!"
The man pulls out a litt...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A trucker picks up a hitchhiker...

They drive down the road a ways making light conversation. After a few miles...

Trucker: hey you wanna see something cool?

Hitchhiker: yeah okay

The trucker whistles and a monkey leaps out of the back and into the trucker's shoulder

Hitchhiker: oh my God is that a real mo...

A man goes into a pet store

In the pet store he asks for something interesting, and the worker brings out a dog

“I don’t want a dog, I want something interesting.” Says the man.

So the worker goes in the back of the store and comes back to the man with a snake.

The man says, “This is interesting, but I wan...

One day, a lady named Anne wanted to change her name...

One day, a lady named Anne decided she was bored of her name and wanted to change it to Penny-Anne. That's not what I would choose, I would do something cool like Proffeser Spider Ninja, but that's why I haven't changed my name. Anyway, changing your name can be like $200, and Anne didn't have a lot...

Tom is hanging with John and John's monkey...

...and John asks "Do you want to see something cool?" and Tom says yes. John then smacks his monkey upside the head and the monkey starts sucking John off.

John asks Tom if he wants some of that and Tom says "Yea, just don't smack me upside the head too hard."

Three men playing golf

There were three men playing a round of golf, Moses, Jesus, and an old man. They get to the 18th hole and Moses gets to tee-off first; he hits his ball into the water. Next up is Jesus, and he does the same as Moses, hits it right into the water. Next up is the old man and he hits it right into the ...

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