UPJOKE

Some Cool Jokes

An atheist dies and goes to hell

The devil welcomes him and says:"Let me show you around a little bit." They walk through a nice park with green trees and the devil shows him a huge palace. "This is your house now, here are your keys." The man is happy and thanks the devil. The devil says:"No need to say thank you, everyone gets a ...

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I was lucky enough to win a couple of coupons for some cool bowling balls with number jokes printed on them.

I won two, three for five, sick "seven ate nine" ten pin bowling balls.

Or in other words I... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ...pin bowling balls.

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"Wow, this is interesting." I said to the wife, as I scanned the web page...

"It says here that although less than half a dozen giant squid have ever been seen alive, scientists believe there may be over five hundred million of them in our oceans."

"Why the fuck are you telling me this?" She snapped. "You're supposed to be looking up some cool tattoo designs for my ar...

Why did the blond take a car door down to the beach?

If it get too hot he could just roll the window down and let some cool air in

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What would you get if you shove some ice cubes in your asshole?

Some cool shit

Jesus and Moses are fishing up in Heaven...

Jesus and Moses are fishing up in Heaven reminiscing about their days on Earth. Moses says, "Man we really did some cool things back in the day." Jesus, "Hey, how about we try to do some of our old tricks?" Moses says, "Alright, I'll go first." Moses stands up, staff in one hand raises his arms toge...

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An XM station was looking for a sportscaster...

An XM sports station was looking for a new sportscaster for play-by-play commentary for football games. The producer had two possible candidates lined up, and he brought them to meet the station manager.

The station manager was impressed by the first young man. He was bright, well-spoken, dre...

Threw a party with my friend!

It was amazing!

First, we had to get some cool costumes, and I must say, as far as service goes, it was amazing! We left the place as quickly as we came in, each with a really cool costume- no waiting at all.

Secondly, we went out to get some snacks for the party, just your usual stuff...

Three girls are driving in a desert when their car breaks down.

One of them was a brunette, the other one a redhead, and the last one, a blonde. As their car broke down in the middle of nowhere and they know nothing about cars, they decide to take a part of the car with them.

The brunette says: "I'm gonna take the roof, so I can protect myself from sandst...

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