UPJOKE

So Poor Jokes

When I was a kid we were so poor!

We were so poor that in the winter time we had to gather around our sickest sibling just to stay warm.

Your momma is so poor

She gave me imitation crabs.

Yo mama so poor…

… that ducks throw bread at her.

My cousin is so poor....

that when she couldn't afford pay the Catholic church for her exorcism, they repossessed her.

The woman says to her husband: "If i had known you were so poor, i wouldn't have married you."

Husband: "But I told you that you were the most valuable thing in my life."

We were so poor growing up my Dad used to sing...

Hush little baby don't say a word
Daddy's going to steal you a mockingbird...

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When I was a kid, we were so poor

I had to jack off the dog to feed the cat.

Yo mama is so poor

That she cant even pay attention

Yo mama so poor

When people come to the door she gotta stick her head out and say “Ding, Dong!”

WIFE: - "If I knew you were so poor, I would never have married you."

HUSBAND: - "But I warned you! I said you are everything I have!"

I was so poor as a child that

If I didn’t wake up with a hard on on Christmas Day I didn’t have anything to play with.

I'm so poor that...

I'm so poor that when I bought a new car, they sent me straight to the collections department.

Growing up we were so poor...

Growing up we were so poor my brother and I had to share clothes.

And kids are so mean, at school they used to make fun of me ... especially when it wasn't my turn to wear the pants and underwear

When I was growing up, we were so poor...

We used to leave the front door open all night, hoping a thief would come in and drop something.

We were so poor growing up

that for breakfast we had Ordinary K.

Your mommas so poor

I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"

Growing up I was so poor….

…if i hadn’t been a boy, I would have had nothing to play with.

We were so poor when I was a kid…

I thought the teachers were rich

I was so poor growing up and our house was so small that.

you could throw one rock through our front window and hit everyone in the house

Why was the artist so poor?

He didn't have any Monet...

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I remember when my parents were so poor...

That on Christmas morning if it wasn’t for my boner I wouldn’t have had anything to play with.

We were so poor when I was growing up.....

That my dad bought me an air guitar for Christmas.

My friend was even less well off. He asked if he could have my old one!!!

Your momma so poor

Your momma so poor, she walks around with one shoe on. And when people ask if she lost a shoe she says
“No I found one”

When I was young we were so poor

That burglars broke into the house in the middle of the night. They couldn’t find anything to steal so they woke us up to make fun of us.

I'm so poor...

that my cell phone only has bus mode

Why were the candle's grades so poor?

He isn't very bright.

Why are working conditions at the Tyre shop so poor?

Because the squeaky wheel gets replaced

Why does dyslexic politician polling so poorly?

His first promise is to eliminate texas.

Your momma is so poor

She could fart on a penny and she still wouldn’t have gas money

Yo momma's so poor

Her bank account looks like a college graduate's



Edit :Your momma's so stupid, she thought Reddit Gold was the name of a Jewish banker

Yo momma's so poor,

when I stepped on a lit match in her house, she yelled "Who turned off the furnace"!

I was so poor growing up, we only had a calendar to use as toilet paper…

Now those days are behind me…

I'm so poor my only funds are daylight savings...

but at least it's trickling down for a rainy day.

Did you hear about the family that was so poor...

...that a burglar broke into their home and all he got was practice?

Yo Daddy so poor...

He goes to KFC and licks other people's fingers.

We're so poor

We're so poor that the tooth fairy gave us food stamps

Yo momma so poor

I can’t make a joke at her expense

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Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex ?

Because when they find the position, they can't find momentum;

And when they find momentum, they can't find the position.

Why are phone batteries always so poor?

Because we keep charging them.

When we were in college, my roommates and I were so poor that we couldn’t afford to pay our electric bills.

It was…the darkest days of our lives.

Why are Donald Trump's letters so poorly written?

He can't do drafts because of bone spurs.

Back in the day we were so poor at Christmas...

That my parents bought me a pair of trousers and cut the pockets out just so I would have something to play with.

Why are flashers always so poor?

Because they're only doing it for the exposure.

The only reason yo momma is so poor

Is because she couldn't fit through her window of opportunity.

Your mama so poor.......

She went on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire just to make a phone call.

A man so poor...

A man is so poor that he is unable to pay his exorcist. As a result he was repossessed.

so poor

A man complains to his wife saying, "We're so poor we can't even afford punchlines to our jokes!" And she says

Why did Soviet-era submarines perform so poorly?

They suffered from deep Russian.

When I was a kid, we were so poor....

That Mom used to cut off the bottoms of our pockets on December 24th, so we'd have something to play with Christmas morning.

When I was a kid, we were so poor....

That we'd have wait for Grampa to sneeze to get something to hang on the Christmas tree.

(Thanks Rodney)

I was so poor, we couldn't afford a bidet.

I had to do hand stands in the shower.

We were so poor when I was growing up, that my mother made us clothes out of the offcuts my dad would bring from home from work at the sandpaper factory.

It was rough.

Yo Mama So Poor....

She can't afford to fly off the handle, when she gets mad, she has to greyhound off the handle.

My vocabulary is so poor...

I can not express it in words.

Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor

Because she's always blowing bills

I’ve seen a few jokes about dwarfs recently and I’m sick of it.

My girlfriend has dwarfism, and is kinder and works harder than anyone I know. She deserves respect and shouldn’t be treated so poorly by you lot.

In fact, to make it up to her I’m going to make her a lovely meal, pour her a glass of wine, and run her a nice hot sink.

When I was a kid, we were so poor I had to bathe in the spring.

When money was good, I'd bathe in the fall too.

There was a man so poor and broke...

That when someone stole his wallet, the robber went bankrupt.

When I was a kid we were so poor we had to eat sitting on the floor.

Every supper, mom would cook up another batch of filet mignons and we’d sit around on the floor eating them like a picnic.

One day dad came home and said he’d taken a gamble and bought us a table. Ever since then, the steaks have been raised.

I tell people that I’m so poor I have to go to sleep for dinner and they seem to pity me

Saying I’m so poor I have to wake up for breakfast doesn’t bring the same reaction though

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When I was little, we were so poor that Dad had to bust a hole in the septic tank just so we could slip and slide.

It was a shitty slip and slide.

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I met up with this girl the other night that also has a foot fetish...

I met up with this girl the other night that also has a foot fetish. When she got to my place, she asked if we could just masturbate to some foot porn together instead of having sex. It wasn't what I had in mind, but I agreed anyway. At the end of it, both of us felt pretty disgusted by the whole th...

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We were so poor when I was a kid, my parents used to get my school clothes from the Army surplus shop.

Nothing wrong with that you might think but do you realize how badly bullied you get going to school dressed as a Japanese sniper.

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