UPJOKE

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Size Doesn't Matter

Why can't guys be like girls and just accept the size of things.

When it's a girl it's like:

"OMG your tits are Amazing"

when it's a guy:

"Yo, WTF bro you have tits"

My wife always says "size doesn't matter".

"but the taste sure does"

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I hate it when people say 'size doesn't matter'.

It makes me feel as if I have this huge penis for nothing.

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They say size doesn't matter

But imagine how many lives would be saved if putin had normal size dick.

My boyfriend claimed size doesn't matter.

But then the wallpaper he put up all fell off.

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My wife told me that size doesn't matter....

But i still wish she didn't have a penis

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The man hooking up with a lady warned her at the bar, "You should know I have a baby-sized Penis"

The lady says that's just fine and size doesn't matter.

They get to his apartment and he pulls down his pants, showing off an absolutely massive penis unlike anything she'd ever seen before.

"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!" she shrieks in terror.

"I told you I had a baby-sized Penis...

I assured to my significant other that size doesn't matter...

when she asked "does this dress make me look fat?" and now she's furious, help--

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Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex:

- You can GET chocolate.

- Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft.

- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

- You can have chocolate in in public.

- If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind.

- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off c...

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[NSFW] A young couple is hooking up.

They decide to go to her place. Then they started kissing and making out. Then they pull off one piece of cloth after the another until the young man stops.

Him: "I must confess sonething!"

Her: "What is it?"

Him: "I have a penis like an infant."

Her: "Oh dear! Size does...

Does size matter?

Some women say size doesn't matter.

Some even say that they prefer smaller ones. I think that they're just shallow.

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20 reasons chocolate is better than sex

1) You can GET chocolate.

2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.

3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.

4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.

5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.

6...

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