UPJOKE

My fiance isn't too happy about me referring to her as my alternative second choice...

I thought she was my wife 2 b?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man went hunting in the forest.

Suddenly he saw a bear. He tries to shoot it, but the problem being is that his rifle is pretty old, got it from his grandpa. He misses, the smoke from the gunpowder blocks his view. The smoke disappeared, and so did the bear. Suddenly, someone touched the hunter's shoulder. He turns around and sees...

Three Explorers

Three explorers were deep in the jungle exploring when they were ambushed by an indigenous tribe. The tribe surrounded the three with spears and bows while the chief approached them. The chief in surprisingly good English tells the men that they have trespassed on sacred ground. The chief gives the ...

Liam Neeson's first choice of username was taken

His second choice was taken too

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A businessman needs a new lease on life, so he goes to see a fortune teller.

He asks the fortune teller what his future would look like if he became an artist.

To the man's surprise, the fortune teller pulls out a large bong, takes a hit, then looks into his crystal ball and says "dim and poor, don't bother."

So the businessman asks him about his second choice,...

What did the white high school dropout get for his birthday?

A legacy scholarship for his second choice school

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Best "Punishment" Ever?

A guy goes to hell for his sins and meets Satan who tells him he has a choice of three punishments. Satan walks him through each punishment

The devil shows him the first punishment where they witness a man being lashed repeatedly

The man cringes and says "Can I see the next one?"
<...

Oogah Boogah!

Two guys were flying in an airplane, over the deepest part of the jungle. Suddenly, their plane developed engine problems and they were forced to make a crash landing. After the crash, they gathered all the supplies they could carry and set off through the jungle towards the last town they flew over...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.