UPJOKE
bdsmbdsm sceneedgeplay

Safe Word Jokes

What's the perfect 'safe word'?

Meatloaf

(I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Me: Oooooo handcuffs. That's pretty hot!!! What's our safe word?

Cop: Man, what the fuck is wrong with you???

What is the best “safe word”?

Meatloaf, because I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My safe word is banana.

After sex I told my wife "orange you glad I didn't say banana!"

She left me, but it was worth it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex girlfriend and I had a safe word...

So when things would get a little too rough in the bedroom, she'd yell, "Marry me!" and I would pull out, leave her apartment, and not call her for a few weeks. Super safe.

What is a necrophiliac's safe word?

I'm alive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife likes to be dominated during sex, but to be safe before we do it we pick a safe word to say when it get's a bit too rough.

Apparently "Harder" wasn't a good choice...

What should you do when you see a blue tit?

Say the safe word and take the ropes off.

[NSFW] I wish I could remember my safe word...

I want life to stop screwing me.

As she glared at me as we sat in the hospital,

It occurred to me that we probably should've changed our safe word from "pineapple" when we started experimenting with produce.

How do you know your S&M partner works in IT?

They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hooked up with a GILF

We get to her place she said she didn't need a safe word. If anything went wrong just hit her LifeAlert button

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the bank robber die having sex with the vault?

They didn’t know the safe word.

You know you're in for a rough Prostate Exam...

...when you get into "position" and, right after the doctor snaps his gloves on, the nurse leans forward and gives you the "safe word"

Why does everyone enjoy having Helen Keller at bondage parties?

She can never say the safe word.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Never gonna invite Jesus for another bondage party

Last time around, he forgot his safe word and we had to bury his sorry ass.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.