This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl introduces her new boyfriend to her family

Her parents invite him for dinner at their home. They all sit down at the table, while the dog lies down under it, and they start eating.

At some point, the dude feels like he really needs to fart. He tries to suppress the awkward feeling, but he can't and farts a big one.

'Rufus!' ye...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Drinking At The Golden Bar

A man comes home late one night, drunk.
"Where have you been?" asks his wife.
"In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!"
This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.
"Do you have golden chairs?"
"Y...

Horse problems

A classic I first heard from my grandpa.

Rufus and Ludgate, a couple of rather rural neighbors, each decided to buy a horse one summer. Since they were neighbors, they decided it made sense to pasture the horses together in the same field. Before turning them loose, they talked about how to t...

The only joke I can ever remember.

There's a mental hospital and every weekend the patients are allowed to go home and visit their families if they are able to properly answer a question by the gate steward at the gate. One day, a man approaches the gate steward with a carrot on a piece of string.

"Morning Harvey, are you read...

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