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Rufus Jokes

Rufus likes sticks

I was in the park the other day with my dog Rufus, trowing sticks and what not.
He was just as happy as a dog can be so I asked him.

"Rufus! What is it you like so much about sticks?"

He turned around a looked at me straight in the eye like he could not understand th...

A Dog's life:

A man sees a dog whom he hadn't seen in a couple of years......and says: "Hey, Rufus! How're you doing? How's life been treating you?"

and the dog says: "RUFF! Ruff-Ruff-Ruff!"

(oh, i'm sorry to hear that!)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl introduces her new boyfriend to her family

Her parents invite him for dinner at their home. They all sit down at the table, while the dog lies down under it, and they start eating.

At some point, the dude feels like he really needs to fart. He tries to suppress the awkward feeling, but he can't and farts a big one.

'Rufus!' ye...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man goes to dinner at the GF's house for the first time after having had beans for lunch.

As they're sitting around the table, the father asks, while petting the family dog Rufus, what the young man's intentions are for his daughter. The young man starts to reply that his intentions are honorable and that he intends to be respectful, but he realizes that he's got a fart building, so he's...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Drinking At The Golden Bar

A man comes home late one night, drunk.
"Where have you been?" asks his wife.
"In the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!"
This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.
"Do you have golden chairs?"
"Y...

Horse problems

A classic I first heard from my grandpa.

Rufus and Ludgate, a couple of rather rural neighbors, each decided to buy a horse one summer. Since they were neighbors, they decided it made sense to pasture the horses together in the same field. Before turning them loose, they talked about how to t...

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