UPJOKE

Rookie Cop Jokes

Rookie cop pulls over an old biker…

A rookie police officer pulls an old biker over for speeding:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.

Off...

A rookie cop is being trained by his sergeant

Unfortunately it's a pretty slow day. Finally the sergeant says "Okay, here's a hint. Pick a car and just follow him around. Before long he's bound to make a mistake, and you can pull him over for that." So the sergeant selects a car, and starts following it.

Unfortunately, it doesn't wor...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[First day as a rookie cop.]

Me: Dispatch, suspect is dancing down Main street, completely nude.


Dispatch: Copy that.


Me: Well I'll try but I'm not much of a dancer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's first day of rookie cop on a job

And he gets assigned patrolling the streets on foot.

Not soon after starting his patrol, he sees a guy pooping in center of a square.

So he calls the HQ and says:

"HQ, there is a guy defecating in public".

HQ responds:

"Copy that, officer"

The rookie then dr...

A man is pulled over by a rookie cop...

When the cop approaches the window, the man produces his papers then says “I’m sure you’re going to ask about the body in the trunk since you obviously smell the weed.” The cop nearly fell back, but before he could utter a word, the man said “just be careful, the knife is under my seat.” The rookie...

So there is a rookie cop out on his first day on patrol...

He is partnered with a veteran cop to show him the ropes. They pull over a blond for speeding. The veteran cop says
"I want you to go up to the window and undo your fly."
"Why would I do that?!" exclaims the rookie.
"Just trust me, do it." assures the veteran.
So the rookie cop walks up ...

A rookie cop pulls a car over, and walks up to the driver.

The driver rolls his window down, and the cop says, "Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?"

The driver looks at the cop, who is about his son's age, and responds, "No officer. I thought for sure that you would know."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cop's first day

Determined to do well on his first day on the job, a rookie cop is out on his beat at 6am. The first person he sees on the street is an old man walking a brick on a leash. He thinks this man must be a bit slow so decides to be as friendly as he can.
Cop: Good morning.
Man: Morning
Cop: That...

The Queen of England is due to arrive at a state dinner in Washington D.C.

Her plane was delayed due to weather and she was 40 minutes late.

Traffic was light and she thought she could make up the time, but the driver was the slowest she ever had.

“Could you drive a bit faster,” she asked.

“No, your highness. I cannot speed.”

“I am in a bit of ...

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