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We're selling assholes!

Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store's merchandise wasn't in -- only a few shelves and display racks set up.

One said to the other, "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, pu...

The travelling salesman [Long]

A travelling salesman knocked on a lady's door. When she opened the door and saw all the boxes the man was carting around, she said, "Whatever it is you're selling, I don't want it. I'm broke."

"Ma'am, what I have with me is the greatest vacuum cleaner in the world. I would love to demonstrat...

A man rejects a girl due to the height difference between them..

The girl: “you’re selling yourself short you know”

Two blondes decide to start a farm.

One goes off to secure some land, and the other goes to buy some animals. Blonde #2 is bad at keeping on to money, so she purposely only takes a hundred dollars with her. Eventually she gets to a place where they're selling bulls for 99 dollars. Naturally, she buys one. But the thing is, her phone i...

So I was paying for my lunch the other day

And there were 2 cash registers. It was halloween at the time and they were selling ghost cookies. I said to the cashier "Could I have a ghost cookie please?" And a woman at the other cash register said the same. Then I said "I guess you could say they're selling like ghost cookies!"

*strums ...

This guy was selling a TV for a dollar.

I walked up to him and said, “Wow! You’re selling that thing for just a dollar?!” He replied, “Yep.” “But why?” “The thing is, the volume is cranked all the way up, and there’s no way to make it quieter.” “That’s the only problem with the TV?” “Yep.” “And you’re selling it for 1 dollar?” “That is co...

A new guy starts work at a bakery.

He's handed his rota and his eyes lighten up: "Great, it's dinner-roll day!". The supervisor is puzzled to see such enthusiasm for so mundane a task as baking dinner rolls, but sure enough, the new guy goes to it with zest and panache and is soon turning out dinner rolls the like of which the superv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting alone at home, when suddenly there’s a knock at his door ...

Standing at the door is a door to door salesman.

Man: Whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.

Salesman: But what I’m selling is very interesting. I’m a purveyor of luxury prosthetics. Allow me to demonstrate.

And he raises the right leg of his pants. His leg is solid gold!...

Why did Adam go to McDonalds

They’re selling the McRib sandwich again

A wealthy dude walks into a pet store for people with fat wallets.

He explains that he's looking for a birthday present to his friend. And his friend happen to like birds, so he needs a parrot, a talented one of course.



Store owner says that he's got just a thing and takes him over to a huge stand with three exotic parrots.



"These bird...

A man was selling his TV

A man was selling his TV on his front porch with a sign that says "$1". A bloke walks by and asks

'You're selling your TV for a dollar?'

'yup'

'It looks brand new!'

'It is.'

'What's wrong with it?'

'Oh the volume is turned all the way up and you can't change...

A bar is selling beer for $1.50...

A man goes to a bar and finds that they're selling beer for $1.50. Happy at the relatively cheap price, he decides to buy 4 for $6. He goes home to enjoy the drinks and is stopped by a deer.

"Well you seem happy, what's got you in such a good mood?" The deer asked.

"Oh, they're sellin...

A State Trooper pulled over a guy on the interstate, and asked him if the driver knew why he’d been pulled over.

“I assume you’re selling tickets to the State Troopers’ Ball,” smirked the driver.

“State Troopers don’t have balls,” replied the officer. Then he thought about what’d he’d just said, and said, “Have a nice day, sir.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A police officer gets a new case

A police officer is minding his own business when his partner drops a case on his desk. His partner says "Leonid, a dance studio is running a drug operation, clear as day, open and shut case". Leonid has had a long day but is excited because open and shut cases don't happen often around this precin...

A dozen guys are changing in the golf club's locker room

Suddenly, a cell phone starts ringing. One of the guys answers it.

'Hi!'

'Hi honey, it's me,' says a female voice. 'Are you still at the golf club?'

'Yeah.'

'Wonderful! I'm two streets away. I just saw this amazing Persian fur coat. It's truly marvelous. Can I buy it?'...

A guy is selling a tv...

A guy is selling his tv at a yard sale

A customer who is looking for a tv asks how much.

The man replies, “The tv is only a dollar.”

The customer replies, “Really, only a dollar? Why is it so cheap?”

The man replies, “The volume is stuck on max. I hate it, so I’m selling...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The customer is always right :)

So a guy is walking around in a recently built, mostly vacant shopping complex and notices that one of the shops on his line is open. He walks in and finds 2 guys at the counter and inquires as to what they are selling. One of the guys decides to be smart and says: "We're selling ass holes". To whi...

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