Pontius Pilate: “As a gesture of goodwill to mark the beginning of Passover, we will release one prisoner.”
Crowd:
PP: “It’s part of my new Pilate program.”
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOO
Pontius was a great Pilate
He flew Jesus to heaven
During the Pontius Pilate number in Jesus Christ Superstar, I thought the orchestra hit a wrong note, but they were actually changing key and it was Pilate who didn’t keep up.
So I thought it was caused faulty instrumentation but it was really due to Pilate error.
Did you hear about the time Pontius Pilate got really drunk?
He ended up nailing Jesus.
I’m so old…
I remember when Pontius was a co-pilot.
How did Jesus stay so ripped?
Pontius Pilates and CrossFit
A group of bricklayers a fixing up a nunnery
The abbess tells the sister cook to to cook up a meal for the hard working men, but before she gives it to them she should test their knowlege of the Bible. So she cooks lunch and carries it out to the workers. She spots one of them and asks him
"Good man, do you know Pontius Pilate?"
...
What kind of exercise did the ancient Romans do?
Pontius Pilates
What was Jesus's least favourite exercise class?
Pontius Pilates.
What is Easter?
As told to me by a priest when I was little:
Three bad Catholics die and go to heaven. Saint Peter says to them "To get into heaven, you must pass a quiz first. What is Easter?"
The first Catholic steps up and says, "Easter is the holiday when a big fat man comes down your chimney an...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Three blondes are in front of the Heavenly Gate...
Each of the blondes lives a sinful and depraved life of sex and drugs. Yet, after their deaths they find themselves before Saint Peter. Peter looks at these three girls and shakes his head.
Then after a moment he speaks, "O.K girls. The Lord as decided to be merciful and give you another cha...
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