UPJOKE

Phone Ringing Jokes

A man hears the phone ringing...

A man hears the phone ringing while he is in his sports team change room, he picks it up.

"Hey honey, I saw a really nice dress for $1000, can I buy it? It looks really nice" said the voice.

"Sure, go ahead if you like it so much" the man says.

"Thanks, and also the car we looke...

SMS

I was on sofa next to my wife who was eating and typing on her phone. So I heard my phone ringing at the kitchen where I was charging it. So I went to check , the sms was from my wife and she wrote "bring the salt on your way back."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I Am The Viper! (Long)

A young man inherited a stately manor from his uncle after his untimely passing. The man's uncle was in reasonably good health, but was found dead in his library. His body bore signs of poisoning, but there was no one else with him the night of his death and no poison was found in his system or on t...

Play it cool...

(Phone ringing)

Boss: Why the hell aren't you picking that up?

Me: I always answer on the third ring, it makes me seem cooler.

Boss: PICK IT UP!

Me: (rolling eyes) Fine, (picks up phone) 911 what's your emergency.

Is your refrigerator running?

A man walks into a bar and is about to order a beer when he's interrupted by the bar phone ringing. The bartender answers. A voice asks, "Is your refrigerator running?" The bartender replies with a sigh. "Yes" The voice replies,"Good. Mine too. I'll see you at the refrigerator races tomorrow."

Two friends meet up, one of them has bandages over his ears

-Hey, man, what happened?

-Well, I was still sleepy when I was ironing my clothes in the morning, I heard my phone ringing and put the iron against my ear!

-Oh man, that’s rough. Hold on, you burned your ear, but why is the other one also bandaged?

-I immediately called an ambul...

What has two wings and an arrow?

A Chinese man imitating a phone ringing and answering the call.

"Wing, wing, arrow?"

Julie’s mum and dad had brought her up well...

But now she was off to university and they were worried that their beloved daughter would struggle to maintain their standards once away from parental supervision. Her mum came up with an idea, and extracted a promise from Julie that, before she did anything (eyebrows pointedly raised) for the first...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A call from the hospital

A man comes home from work, and as he's opening the door, he hears the phone ringing. He puts down his toolbox, and picks up the receiver.

"Hello?"
"Hello, is this Steve Sanders?"
"Yes, it is..."
"Hello, Mr. Sanders. I regret to have to tell you that your wife has been in an awful ca...

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