UPJOKE

Pew Pew Jokes

Giles was late for shooting practice so the Sergeant made him pretend he was holding a pistol and make "Pew pew" sounds.

Giles didn't want to make a fuss so he makes his hands into a pistol and starts saying "pew pew" while aiming.

But the idiot Giles was almost always late. So a lot of "pew pewing" was going on when he was practicing.

After 4 months, there's been an invasion and a full-blown war has s...

I want a gun that shoots wooden benches.

I'd walk into a church with no seating and be like: *pew pew pew. pew pew. pew pew pew*

My local church went bankrupt and someone turned it into a gun range.

The community didn't like it, but it already had pew pew pews.

What sounds do lasers make in a church?

Pew pew pew!

My six year old son told me a joke at dinner tonight and I absolutely loved it.

Son: "Knock, knock"

Me: "Who's there?"

Son: "A chicken"

Me: " "A chicken who?"

Son *interrupting*: "Pew pew pew pew pew!"

Me: .................?

Him: "Get it?! Like it's shooting eggs at you!"

If the 2nd Amendment were a religion, what kind of chairs would their churches have?

Pew pews.

Skunked

A friend of mine got sprayed by a skunk at work today, saying it looked like a baby skunk. And my reply to her was:


Baby skunk pew pew pew pew pew pew

What do you get when you put nutella on salmon?

You get salmonella.

Hahahaha...pew pew pew...haha...*begins sobbing*

How does a church congregation defend against an attack by Galactic Imperial Stormtroopers?

They use the pew, pew-pew pews.

What's the difference between a church and a mosque?

In a church you see pew, pew pew.

In a mosque you hear pew pew pew.

What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?

PEW PEW

A man whispered something in his friend's ear, making him fall dead on the ground. What did he say?

Pew pew pew...

Where will everyone be sitting at Carrie Fisher's funeral

Pew Pew Pew

Little known fact: Most Star Wars' space fights filmed in a church

Pew Pew Pew

What does it sound like when two churches fight?

Pew Pew PEWPEWPEW!!!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

i wanna fingerbang bill oreilly

... thats it. i just wanna finger bang him

#bang bang
#pew pew

What sound does a gun made from church seating make?

Pew Pew..

Sorry. Just became a father 2 years ago. I have some catching up to do.

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