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Penni Jokes

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A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back...

The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.

Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.

A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.

At the so...

If I had a penny for every time someone said they think I have OCD...

I'd have 1,526 pennies.

I caught my dad chewing pennies and spitting them out.

I said, "Dad, what the hell are you doing?"

He replied, "Im making us rich son"

"How?" I asked

"Simple", he said, "I'm making bit coins"

Why are 1980 pennies worth more than 1979 pennies? (Dads joke)

The same reason 10 pennies is worth more than 9.

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The 5 Penny Joke

I have 5 pennies. I lay one on a table.

"Smell anything?"
I point to the penny.
"There's a cent."

I lay a second penny down.
"See any fruit?"
"There's a pair."

Third penny.
"See any cops?"
"There's three coppers right there."

4th.
"See any cars?"...

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The Five Penny Trick

Something I remember from my misspent youth.

Requires five pennies, placed down one at at time, heads up.

Place the first penny on the table..."Can you smell that....that's a scent."

Place the second penny...."Can you see any fruit....that's a pair"

Place the third penny....

Why does Santa only carry pennies, dimes and quarters?

Because he is Nicholas.

The U.S mint stopped making pennies.

I don't know why, it doesn't make any cents.

A local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer.

The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"


The lawyer thought about it for a minut...

Four Pennies

A few years ago, I volunteered with a high school band, who had a performance at a local veteran's home. After the concert, we spent some time with the residents, listening to their stories.

One gentleman came up to me and asked if I wanted to hear a joke. I agreed.

He held out a han...

Only if I had a penny for everytime

My boss asked me to work late in the evening. By now, I would have,



Hit him to death with those pennies.

"A few pennies, sir?" asked the homeless man.

I looked into his guitar case and said, "I'll pass, mate. There's not even enough for a sandwich in there! But thanks, anyway"

The local charity realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.

So a volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office. The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, 'Our research shows that even though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community?.

The law...

Pennies are becoming more and more rare in the US.

We're lacking common cents.

Why are 1968 pennies worth almost $20?

Because that's only 32 short.

If i had a penny for every time a Ukrainian man saved the world from eventual nuclear fallout

If i had a penny for every time a Ukrainian man saved the world from eventual nuclear fallout due to Russian stupidity, I'd have 2 pennies; it's not a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

Most people don't like pennies, just don't care for em.

I like pennies.

No matter the situation, if it involves water, I can wish my way out of it.

I always carry 2 nickels and 2 pennies

So that way I'll never be so poor that I don't have 2 nickels to rub together, and I gain always put my 2 cents in on a situation.

Why did the man put his pennies in a circle?

To make ends meet.

If the US got rid of pennies

it would be a decent country

What do you call a man with 1000 pennies?

A man with a lot of common cents.

My friend told me that he thinks pennies are not logical

I just don’t get it. They make perfect cents

What do you call a kennel made of pennies, dimes, and quarters?

A Nickel-less Cage

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"Hey Bud, why don't you use condoms?"

"My pull out game is superb. Condoms are also expensive, gotta pinch pennies when you have 14 kids to feed."

My brother used to throw pennies at me all the time

And that’s why I’m afraid of change

Fake people are like pennies

Two-faced and not worth a dime.

Some days I feel like a hundred million pennies

It's a million bucks, but it's kinda heavy

Franklin 2.0

I used to collect pennies in a jar, but the jar filled up quickly. So I bought an urn.

A penny saved is a penny urned.

A young boy starts choking on some pennies

The boys dad runs to him and tries to help him cough them out. After unsuccessfully helping, he grabs his phone and calls the local doctor for help.

"Doctor, My son had swallowed some pennies, and he is choking on them, please come quickly before he gets hurt"

"Sorry sir, I'm currently...

A guy goes in to a brothel with only a few pennies in his pocket...

He walks up to the Madame and handing her the coins asks "Who can I get for this?". Taking the money the Madame says "Go see the girl in room 23."

Walking up the stairs the guy thinks "What kind of monster am I gonna find for such little money??".

But as he enters the room he see a gor...

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If I had a penny for every time I’ve had sex...

... I’d be penniless

I think pennies are made of copper and zinc

But that’s just my two cents

When you find pennies under your couch,

It might just be spiders trying to pay rent.

If the US stops minting pennies, 99¢ deals will disappear

because they won't make cents any more.

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