One Quarter Jokes

Now I have $2,999,999.75

The first orders a beer...
The second orders half a beer...
The third orders one quarter of a beer...
The fourth orders one eighth of a beer...

The bartender pours two beers for the entire group, and replies "cmon guys, know your limits."

“One quarter." answered little Johnny.

“You don't know your arithmetic!" snapped the teacher shaking her head.

Little Johnny shook his head too, "You don't know my dad!"

{} Why are Europeans so elite at drifting

{}{}The Eurasian plate moves about one quarter to one half of an inch each year

It's the end of the world, as a meteor will hit the Earth in one hour, and everyone is scrambling to shelters worldwide. However, to enter, the United States, broke even now, requires 25 cents to enter, only quarters.

Billy and his granddad are hurrying to the shelter, however, when they get ... read more

And a platoon is making their way through a Wooded area when someone heard a twig snap over the hill in front of them.
The commander sends a scout out in front to find out what was in front of them. Some minutes go by and their scout calls out “an Ukrainian man is spotted about 200….. pzzz” and t... read more

The priest, the minister and the rabbi are talking about what are they doing with the donation of their congregation.
-I use one quarter for myself, and I spend the rest for the church and for the glory of God- says the priest.
-I spend the half of the money for my sustainment, and the rest I ... read more

A witness to an automobile accident was testifying.
The following exchange took place between the lawyer
and the witness:

The lawyer: "Did you actually see the accident?"

The witness: "Yes, sir."

The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident
happened?"
... read more