UPJOKE

One Legged Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I visited Australia this summer, I saw a a guy fucking a kangaroo and a one legged man jacking off in a bar.....

I asked the bartender, what's wrong with this place?

He said, "What do you mean what's wrong with this place?"

I said, "On the way over here I saw a guy fucking a kangaroo, and that one legged man is jacking off over there!"

The bartender said, "That man in the corner, poor fell...

If big breasted women work at Hooters where do one legged women work?

IHOP

I dated a one legged girl who worked at a brewery

She was in charge of the hops

What sound does a one legged turkey make?

Wobble Wobble

One legged man

What does a one-legged man call karate?


Partial Arts

I asked a one legged woman if she wanted to be part of a threesome.

I heard she leaned both ways.

Why do one legged people like beer?

Because it’s made with hops.

I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today...

He asked me to help him check his balance.... So I pushed the guy over.

What do one legged girls sing?

*All we need is somebody to lean on*

Why did the one legged man get a prosthetic leg for Christmas?

It was a stocking stuffer.

My newest girlfriend broke up with me after we lost a one legged race fundraiser.

She says we got off on the wrong foot.

Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?

So he could get crow cane from his vet

Where do one legged pirates eat?

I Hop

Does a one legged duck swim in circles?

What time does a duck wake up in the morning?
-At the quack of dawn!!!

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. then tells the bartender:
-just put it on my bill!!!!

What's a duck's favorite snack?
-Cheese and quackers!!!

What did the duck say after hearing one of my...

What did the horse say to the one legged jockey?

How ya getting on

I saw a one legged man standing on the corner holding a sign that read “will work for food” so I did him a solid

And told him IHOP was hiring.

How do you kill a one legged fox?

You run it across Canada.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where do you find a one legged dog? NSFW

Wherever you fucking left him

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a one legged woman?

Eileen! What do you call a one legged Japanese woman. Irene! What do you call the Samoan lady who fell off the cliff? Eileen Tufa'a!

What does Paddy Irishman says when he meets a one legged jockey?

How're you gettin' on?

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