UPJOKE

One Leg Jokes

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If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work at?

IHOP!

Saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM.

Confused, I asked him what he was doing... He said: “Just checking my balance.”

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Fucked a girl with one leg

Should've used my cock

I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today...

He asked me to help him check his balance.... So I pushed the guy over.

What do you call the woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Eileen.

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I fucked a girl with one leg last night

Probably should have used my cock

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2j7aff/z/cl9844o

My friend went bankrupt after inventing a sandal for people with only one leg.

It was a flop.

My girlfriend has a great job down at the brewery despite having only one leg.

She's in charge of the hops.

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?

Because if it lifted up two, it would fall over

What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other??

Irene

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A man with a completely bald head and only one leg is invited to a Fancy Dress Party.

He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
Dear Sir
Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head an...

What sound does a one legged turkey make?

Wobble Wobble

Scientists have discovered why flamingos stand on one leg

Removed cause Reddit doesn't care about their users. (API Changes)

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Josh has one leg

Josh has one leg due to a bicycle accident a few years ago that led to an amputation. One day his mom stormed into his room furious, and began accusing him of masturbating under her roof. Now, Of course he was guilty, but he thought he had hidden it very well and was confident she hadn’t caught on u...

What do you call a Chinese man with one leg?

Tai Wan Shu

What did one leg say to the other?

United we stand, divided we're screwed

I saw a bloke with one arm and one leg was about to be hanged.



I started shouting out letters.

Why do one legged people like beer?

Because it’s made with hops.

I asked a one legged woman if she wanted to be part of a threesome.

I heard she leaned both ways.

One legged man

What does a one-legged man call karate?


Partial Arts

A disabled man rolls into a bar with one leg and one arm...

Disabled Man: "I bought my first house today!"

Bartender: "How much did it cost?"

Disabled Man: "A lot!"

The policeman told me he was chasing a man with one leg

I told him to use both he would get him faster

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A man wants to commit suicide because he only has one leg

As he wants to jump out of a roof and looks down, he sees a man with no arms that is dancing and jumping around and looks happy. He gets confused and wonders..."why is this guy that happy? Dancing with no arms?" He decides not to jump and goes to the guys and asks him:
"How can you be that happy?...

My grandpa returned from the war with one leg.

We still don't know to whom that leg belonged.

What do you call a donkey with one leg?

A wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye making love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, making love while breaking wind? <...

What do you call a dog ,with one eye, and one leg?

Lucky
In loving memory of my father who was the biggest jokester, until his very last days, all he wanted to ,do was make others laugh.
He wanted us to put a fart machine in his casket and let them blow, my mom wouldn't allow it...

I had an accident and lost my one leg

And I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

I was at the bus stop the other day when I saw a man with only one leg

I looked at his one leg, and I looked at my two. I looked back at his one leg and I thought, he must be rubbish at tabletennis

My friends Grandpa told us this when we were about 14, What did the one leg say to the other leg?

Check out Shorty he's growing a beard!

Do you know why flamingos always lift one leg while standing?

Because if they lifted both legs they'd fall over.

What do one legged girls sing?

*All we need is somebody to lean on*

What do you call a man with one leg?

Anything you want. He can't run fast enough to catch you.

Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?

So he could get crow cane from his vet

I know a man with one leg named Smith

i don’t know what he named the other one

I met a girl with one leg shorter than the other.

I asked her name.

She said ”Ailene”.

I replied ”I can see that, but I asked for your name.”

A bloke with one leg is at an ATM

A passerby stops and asks, do you need help mate?

the bloke replies: "Nahh mate cheers jus' checkin me balance"

Why did the one legged man get a prosthetic leg for Christmas?

It was a stocking stuffer.

A guy with one leg stood before me at the ATM.

After waiting an unusual amount of time and the line behind me growing longer I decided to speak up.

"Everything alright man?"

To which he replied..

" yeah give me a moment just checking my balance"

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Three young women are at a cocktail party. The conversation turns to their husbands.

The first woman, smiling smugly, says, "My husband is taking me on a romantic break to the French Riviera for two weeks."

The second boasts, "Well, my husband just bought me a brand new Porsche."

The third shrugs and says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, ladies, we don't have m...

What has three eyes and one leg?

traffic light

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What do you call a black guy with one leg?

Whatever his name is, you racist piece of shit

What do men do standing up and women do sitting down and dogs do by lifting one leg?

Shake hands, of course!

I dated a woman with one leg years ago, but

I can't remember if her name was Peg or Ilene.

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