I used to date a girl who had one leg and worked at a brewery...

She was in charge of the hops...

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Since women with big breasts work at Hooters, where do women with one leg work at?

IHOP😜

What do you call a chinese chap with one leg?

Limping



Thank you, goodnight.

The policeman told me he was chasing a man with one leg

I told him to use both he would get him faster

What did one leg say to the other?

United we stand, divided we're screwed

what’s a one legged persons favourite restaurant?

Ihop

Do you know why flamingos stand on one leg?

Because if they raise the other leg too, they fall

What do you call a dog ,with one eye, and one leg?

Lucky
In loving memory of my father who was the biggest jokester, until his very last days, all he wanted to ,do was make others laugh.
He wanted us to put a fart machine in his casket and let them blow, my mom wouldn't allow it...

I had an accident and lost my one leg

And I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

What do you call an Italian moose with one leg shorter than the others?

Moose so leany.

I invented a sandal for one legged people

It was a flop.

A disabled man rolls into a bar with one leg and one arm...

Disabled Man: "I bought my first house today!"

Bartender: "How much did it cost?"

Disabled Man: "A lot!"

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A man wants to commit suicide because he only has one leg

As he wants to jump out of a roof and looks down, he sees a man with no arms that is dancing and jumping around and looks happy. He gets confused and wonders..."why is this guy that happy? Dancing with no arms?" He decides not to jump and goes to the guys and asks him:
"How can you be that happy?...

My grandma always told me « anything you do, should be done one leg after another »,

she never wanted to admit she just suck at hopscotch.

What do men do standing up and women do sitting down and dogs do by lifting one leg?

Shake hands, of course!

My friends Grandpa told us this when we were about 14, What did the one leg say to the other leg?

Check out Shorty he's growing a beard!

Saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM.

Confused, I asked him what he was doing... He said: “Just checking my balance.”

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I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today...

He asked me to help him check his balance....

So I pushed the fucker over.

I saw a bloke with one arm and one leg was about to be hanged.



I started shouting out letters.

What do one legged girls sing?

*All we need is somebody to lean on*

I saw a one legged man standing on the corner holding a sign that read “will work for food” so I did him a solid

And told him IHOP was hiring.

What do you call a donkey with one leg?

A wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye making love?
A bonky winky wonky donkey

What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, making love while breaking wind? <...

What do you call a man with one leg?

Anything you want. He can't run fast enough to catch you.

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I met a girl who liked to try new sexual positions. She wanted to do it standing up while balancing on one leg. It was interesting but . . .

we didn’t get off on the right foot.

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Why do cats stick one leg straight up in the air when they lick their anus?

Interviewer: No, I meant any questions about the job?

I met a girl with one leg shorter than the other.

I asked her name.

She said ”Ailene”.

I replied ”I can see that, but I asked for your name.”

A guy with one leg stood before me at the ATM.

After waiting an unusual amount of time and the line behind me growing longer I decided to speak up.

"Everything alright man?"

To which he replied..

" yeah give me a moment just checking my balance"

A man with one leg recently got a job working at a brewery.

He was put in charge of the hops.

Why did the one legged man get a prosthetic leg for Christmas?

It was a stocking stuffer.

I know a man with one leg named Smith

i don’t know what he named the other one

My grandpa returned from the war with one leg.

We still don't know to whom that leg belonged.

A few years ago I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.

It was a flop.

A bloke with one leg is at an ATM

A passerby stops and asks, do you need help mate?

the bloke replies: "Nahh mate cheers jus' checkin me balance"

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What do you call a black guy with one leg?

Whatever his name is, you racist piece of shit

A man with one leg came to work with a new watch.

His co-workers asked "How much did that cost?"

He replied " An arm and leg but I talked them down."

A man is driving down the road when he sees someone on the side of the road with three eyes, no arms and one leg ...

He pulls over and says, eye, eye eye, you look armless, hop in.

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I fucked a girl with one leg last night

Probably should have used my cock

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2j7aff/z/cl9844o

My Wife has been forcing me to stand on one leg for years.

Enough is enough. I had to put my foot down.

Where do you find a dog with one leg?

Where you left it

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What did the store manager say to the mannequin that had one leg shorter than the other?

"I can't fucking stand you."

I dated a woman with one leg years ago, but

I can't remember if her name was Peg or Ilene.

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Zebo, a half blind 5 year old African orphan has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Please give just a small donation of $10....

...and we will send you the video; it's fucking hilarious!

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I visited Australia this summer, I saw a a guy fucking a kangaroo and a one legged man jacking off in a bar.....

I asked the bartender, what's wrong with this place?

He said, "What do you mean what's wrong with this place?"

I said, "On the way over here I saw a guy fucking a kangaroo, and that one legged man is jacking off over there!"

The bartender said, "That man in the corner, poor fell...

Knew a girl that had a Christmas tattoo on one leg and a New Years tattoo on the other.

I asked if I could come up between the holidays.

Dave had only one leg.

Every night he would sit at the pub, cradling his beer his trousers looking deflated below the knee. Yet the men found it hard to feel sorry for him as every night, he would go home with another beautiful girl. One day, young chuck, overcome with curiosity, decided to ask him his secret. He bought D...

Where do one legged pirates eat?

I Hop

Did you hear about the gummy bear with only one leg?

He lost the other one in Nom.

<all credit to my daughter>

Everyone is posting one legged Halloween costumes

and I can't stand it

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Where does a man with one leg eat breakfast?

Ihob... wait... shit.

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