UPJOKE

Old Husband Jokes

The 50-year-old woman phoned up her 60-year-old husband........

“Darling, it’s a miracle, the doctor says I’m pregnant, isn’t that wonderful? You’re going to be a father.”





“That’s great” replied the husband. “By the way, who is this?”

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

Two old married couples are driving to dinner. The two old wives are sitting in the back seat, the two old husbands sitting in the front seat.

Two old married couples are driving to dinner. The two old wives are sitting in the back seat, the two old husbands sitting in the front seat.

"Where are we going for dinner?" Frank asks Harry.

"I forget," Harry says. "It's, uh... it's... what's the name of the flower, the red one?"<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A old husband tells his old wife:- " can't feel anything in my butt" she says:- "are you serious?"

He says:- " i am deadass serious"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old lady was in bed with her young lover when she suddenly hears her husband pull into the driveway..

"Quick!" she tells her lover. "Hide in this cupboard!"

So saying she pushes the naked guy in the cupboard and hastily puts on her clothes. But the cupboard is a tight fit so the guy's balls are left out hanging between the cupboard doors.

The old husband enters the house and walks into...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My 92 year old husband was on his deathbed

My 92 year old husband was on his deathbed after a long illness, and I asked him whether, looking back over his long and eventful life, he had any regrets.

"The only thing I regret is that I never won anything," he told me.

I squeezed his hand, "yes you did," I smiled.

"You won ...

NSFW A 90 year old woman walks by her bathroom

A 90 year old woman walks by her bathroom on fall evening, and sees her 90 year old husband. He has a can of spray paint and is spray painting his nether regions. She stops and yells, “ You idiot! You’re supposed to turn your clock back!”

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