UPJOKE

Not Good Jokes

Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good.

Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.

(Credit: u/DrOctopusMD)

Not good at relationships

My last relationship ended because I didn’t open the car door for her... instead, I swam up to the surface.

Either way, the results are not good

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.'

'Mrs. Sanders, please.'

'Speaking.'

'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as wel...

I'm not good with science jokes

I would make a science joke but.. Ion know..

I could try physics, but I don't wanna force it

Maybe chemistry? ...Na

Or biology, but those jokes don't cell well, and I don't like denature

I'd ask my teacher for help with jokes but he's not a very fungi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy in Brooklyn is outside of a candy shop shoveling candy in his mouth. A man approaches the boy and says, "Don't eat candy, kid. It's not good for you."

The boy replied, "My grandfather lived until he was 97."

-

"Really," said the man. "Did he eat a lot of candy, too?"

-

The boy replied, "No, but he minded his own fucking business."

I'm not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks

It makes me boulder

Why are eggs not good at keeping secrets?

They tend to crack under pressure.

The only thing I’m not good at is modesty

I’m great at it!

People say I'm not good with Greek Mythology...

I guess that it's my Achilles wrist.

What do you call not bad, not good brown beef?

Meaty-ochre

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why robots are not good for health

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.

He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.

The son says, "I did some schoolwork."

The robot slaps the son.

The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend'...

Rock climbing is not good for my mood swings.

Too many ups and downs.

Which kind of jokes is a stalker not good at?

Knock knock jokes

Why is it not good to hear high pitched sounds?

It hertz

teacher :- hey how are you ? student:- not good ! teacher :- what's wrong

Student :- my sister is at hospital she can't even speak or walk i think she is paralyzed
teacher :- omg ! I am sorry to hear !what happened?
student :- she was born yesterday

Why was the photo I took of an artist not good?

It had too much exposure.

My brother thinks he is not good enough to clean the dust inside the vents.

I guess he has the Impostor Syndrome.

Why is UPS not good at telling jokes?

Because their delivery sucks.

In life, sometimes it's not good to be very specific.

For instance, it's okay to say "I love kids" but it's frowned upon to say "I love 12 year olds."

It's not good to joke about molestation.

It's a touchy subject.

A narcissist is asked what's something he's not good at

to which he replies, "Well, I'm very bad at making mistakes!"

TIL that Dermatologists are not good people

Their care for you is only skin deep.

*Thank ButIamARobot for the idea!

People are shocked when they realise I am not good at my job...

I am an electrician.

Well, that was not good..

A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth, and the
doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd
like to try it out. The machine could take some of the pain of
childbirth from the mother and give it to the father to ease the>mother's
burden.<...

Saudi Arabia is not good at covering things like the Khashoggi killing

except women

I'm not good at fishing for compliments

All I get is trout.

A teacher asks the class to name something they are not good at, beginning with the letter O. One student raises his hand and answers...

Spelling


(Stephen Cookson)

Gen Z names are so stupid. For instance, a young man introduced himself to me as Jathan..... Not Jason. Not Nathan... Jathan.

I'm not good with remembering names so I try to incorporate them into the conversation to help me to remember. So I said to him

"It's very nice to meet you Jathan."

"That is a very unique name, Jathan."

"Are you from around here Jathan?"

To which he replied

"Wow, a...

I think a lot of linux package handling systems are not good enough for the task.

But the one with Ubuntu is apt.

Why us it not good to have an oily face?

The US might invade it.

A son has just gotten his report card, it's not good....

"Hello father, here's my report card....", the son says.
"All Cs!" His father is furious. "Son, if you don't improve your grades by next term I will disown you....if you don't get As, I don't want you to call me father any more!"

.....next term comes and goes.....the son gets his ...

What was one thing Nicholas the 2nd of Russia not good at?

Czarcasm.

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