My mom has a rule that no friends are allowed at our house in November because of holidays. (It makes no sense.)

But she has a friend that she decided that she'll let over in November. My mom told her "You're an exception. You can come any time in November." So I said "Very poor choice of words." and her friend started dying of laughter, but I got grounded.

I’ve always been told I had no friends

The 12 voices in my head disagree

What do you call a noodle who has no friends?

Macalonely

Why does a man who gives out money have no friends...

Because he’s a LOANER!

People always say I have no friends, but that’s not true.

Every girl I’ve asked out wants to be friends.

I have no friend but I love my shoes

They're my sole companions.

So What do you call a banker that has no friends?

A Loaner.... I’m just going to go to the bank and withdraw my life.

I had it rough growing up. No friends, at all...

It was just me and Black Bart,

My imaginary enemy.

Why does Kylo Ren have no friends?

Because his whole lfe he is Ben Solo

How do you call a guy named Lee that has no friends?

Lonlee

What do you call someone that had great potential in highschool, but now has no friends, no career aspirations, and is satisfied with a menial job?

Idk what others would say, but I know my dad is refusing to call me "son"

What do you call it when the goddess of knowledge as no friends?

Pal-less Athena

What do you call a 23 year old guy with no friends, depression, social anxiety anda no job?

An average redditor

This banker I know has absolutely no friends...

I think he's loanly

I have no friends.

Even the toilet cover attacks me from the back.

What do you call a little kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor.

Why did the cactus have no friends?

Because he was a no-pal.

Why did the kiddie pool have no friends?

Because it was too shallow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys lost in the woods [NSFW]

Two hunters are lost in the woods and looking for a way back to town. As they wander through the forest they come upon train tracks. It's decided that one would follow it south, the other would follow north. If neither found civilization after five miles, they would turn around and meet back up.
...

Bad luck

Two friends meet on the street:
- Hey man, I heard your mother-in-law died. What did she have?
- Some jewelry, a TV and some small savings
- That's not what I asked you. What was wrong with her?
- Well, she had no friends, her neighbours hated her and she was hard to reason with…
- Ma...

Why does Voldemort prefer Instagram over Facebook?

'Cause he has only followers and no friends.

Netflix is cracking down on password sharing as it turns out one-third of users share logins

Recent news from the company shows they are not worried about the other two-thirds who are Redditors with no friends

A young lady, jobless and spurned by her lover, heads to the Manhattan docks to drown herself.

She has nothing, no friends, no family, she just wants to end it all.

And as she's about to jump, a handsome young sailor shouts, "stop! Don't do it!!"


And she says, "I've nothing in this world, I might as well end it!"


And he says, "Listen, listen. It's a rotten world, ...

So my friend was trying to convince me the earth is flat the other day...

Just kidding. He has no friends.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Twas the week before Christmas

‘Twas the Week before Christmas
by Canttake Itany Moore

‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the city

The virus still raged. The year was still shitty.

The cars sat snuggly, all still in the street.

There was no place to go. No friends to meet.

Restau...

A white man visits a rural tribe in Africa

A white man wants to take the trip of a lifetime, and decides on a trip to Africa. He is in a go nowhere job, with no friends or family, and is feeling down. He quits his job and decides to travel to a remote area, far from civilization. He does not like the touristy vibe that some places give off, ...

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