UPJOKE

No Brains Jokes

An evergreen Zombie Joke

2 people are running away from a Zombie when they back themselves into a corner.

The Zombie approaches, wanting to eat their brains.

1 of them suddenly has an idea. "Wait, don't eat us! We're \[insert unpopular group members, for example, a political affiliation you hate\]!"

The...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Five Surgeons

Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside...

A zombie is trying to get his kid to eat their dinner

"Eat your food, there's people in America with no brains at all"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Medicine Wonders

An Israeli doctor says:
"In Israel, medicine is
so advanced that we cut off a man's testicles,
put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he
is looking for work."
The German doctor says: "That's nothing, in
Germany we take part of a brain, put it in
another man, and in 4 weeks he ...

There's no zombies working in the White House.

Because there's no brains.

Three surgeons was meeting for a drink...

... Here they ended up talking shop, and the first proclaimed:

"The easiest patients to operate on, are accountants! All their organs are numbered."


The second surgeon did dissagree:

"I think the easiest patients to operate on, are painters! All their organs got different co...

What does John F. Kennedy have in common with the current Democratic Party?

No brains

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, Englishman, & Australian were arguing which of their versions of football were the toughest.

An American, and Englishman, and an Australian were discussing which of their particular brands of football were the toughest.

The American said, "We've got this quarterback Peyton Manning who's just won his second Super Bowl ring. Well, one day Manning was sacked so hard, his front split op...

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