UPJOKE

Need To Make Jokes

If California splits into 3 states, we just need to make Puerto Rico a state.

We’d have a prime number of states and finally be “one nation, indivisible”

What do you need to make a small fortune on Wall Street?

A large fortune

"Hello, I need to make an insurance claim, a fish have damaged my car."

-"... a fish? We'll have to inspect the vehicle first. Where is it parked?"

-"In the lake."

What do you need to make trap music?

A snare drum

Which two fish you need to make a shoe?

Sole and eel.

"All right, for our new Disney+ miniseries, we need to make it a thoughtful, highly entertaining original series AND it needs to connect to an existing Star Wars property."

"... Would you settle for And/or?"

R* doesnt need to make gta 6

We are living it

How much room do you need to make a fungus?

As mushrooms as possible

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say to win a girl’s heart, you need to make her laugh.

That’s why my first move is always a dick pic.

How many tickles do you need to make an octopus love?

Ten tickles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I need to make a change. I haven't given a fuck my entire life.

I'm still a virgin.

A man is on an elevator delivering jokes to children at a children's hospital when someone gets off at a floor and asks "Do you need to make a delivery on this floor?"

The man replies "no, this joke is next level"

A young boy deposit 100$ everyday in the bank...

One day the general manager noticed the young boy and asked the clerk about him. He then told him that the young boy comes everyday and deposit exactly $100 each time. So the manager told the clerk to send him the lil boy the next time he comes to the bank. The next day the boy comes in and he's sen...

The Jewelry Store

An older man walked into a jewelry store with a young woman. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, “No, I'd like to see something more special.”

The jeweler went to hi...

Man gets on a bus and sits next to a mother with child...

The mother is trying to get her fussy son to breastfeed, she finally gets frustrated and tells the baby, "You better take to the milk, or I'll give it to this man sitting here..."

She tries a few more minutes, the baby is still just very fussy, she tells the baby again, "You need to start soo...

How many blondes...

How many blondes do you need to make a chocolate cake?
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10
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One is making dough, the rest is shelling M&Ms.

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