UPJOKE

My Wife Just Left Me Jokes

My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it.

I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife just left me because I spent our life savings on a penis enlargement...

She couldn't take it any longer

My wife just left me

because of my insecurities.

Wait, she's back. Just went out to pick the mail.

My wife just left me because I have a fetish for touching pasta.

I'm feeling cannelloni right now.

My wife just left me because I'm too insecure...

Never mind. She just came back. She went to get a cup of coffee.

My wife just left me because of my gambling addiction...

I wonder what the odd are for me winning her back.

My wife just left me

Family reunions are gonna be pretty awkward now.

My wife just left me because of my anxiety and paranoia.

Nevermind, she just returned from the shops.

My wife just left me, screaming, "ALL YOU EVER DO IS QUOTE ELVIS PRESLEY LYRICS TO ME!"

I'm all shook up…

My wife just left me because i cant stop using double negatives.

But in my opinion I haven't done nothing wrong.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A was man drowning his sorrows at the bar. A beautiful woman sat down beside him and asked, “What is wrong?”

He said: “My wife just left me because I am too kinky in bed.”

The lady gasped, “My husband left me for the same reason!”

A few drinks later, they end up at her place and she says: “I’m going to the bathroom to change into something ‘more comfortable.’

Ten minutes later, she ...

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