UPJOKE

My Mama Jokes

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My mama always said life was like a penis

When it gets hard...fuck it

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My mama is like a shotgun

Two cocks....she blows

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I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.

"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"

"To buy groceries," I told him.

"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles ...

Bus driver on Sesame Street.

So, there is a guy who needs a job. He goes to the employment agency and they tell him the only job they have is as bus driver on Sesame Street. He thinks its a bit weird, but he needs a job. First day driving the bus, he gets to the first stop and two very overweight women get on the bus sweating p...

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Well isn't that nice.

A woman attends her 25 year high school reunion, and a well known one-upper approaches her. The one upper proceeds to tell her about all the wonderful things to happen in her life, their conversation goes as follows. "After high school my daddy got me into Harvard where I graduated with honors". "...

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