UPJOKE

My Love Jokes

When I professed my love to a female friend she told me she loved me like a brother...

We are from the south so things are going good.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My love is like a candle...

Because if you forget about me I will burn your fucking house to the ground.

In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter..

..so I failed her!

My love life is like a fairy tale

it's grim.

A haiku about my love life...

Hahahahaha

Hahahahahahaha

Hahahahaha

I live in a two-story apartment I own. My brother calls it my love glove.

Because that's a condom idiom.

My love making is like rain in a hurricane.

You’ll get 4” per hour & very wet.

My love life has been vacant for so long...

... it became a Spirit Halloween.

My girlfriend dumped me over my love for pasta

And now I'm feeling canaloni

My love for you is like diarrhea

I can't hold it in

If I rated my love for you from 1-10 it’d be pi

Because it is both infinite, and not that much.

My love life has become like my bank card..

Contact less.

My love life is like a game of minesweeper

I ignore a bunch of red flags and it always blows up in my face.

My love for you is like COVID 19

It keeps increasing everyday

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My love life is like my dick

Still single, and still nonexistent.

I owe my love of bukkake all to my dad

When I was a child, he really rubbed off on me.

I never thought my love life would make me quit my job at the apiary.

Then I saw her face....

Whenever people ask me how my love life is going

I tell them I'm holding my own.

Son : "Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"

Father : "That's great son. Who is she?"

Son: "It's Tina, the neighbor's daughter".

Father : "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.Tina is actually your sister."

The boy is naturally bummed out, but a coupl...

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house. She knocked on the door then immediately walked in.

She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.
"What are you doing?!" she asked.


"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.


"But you're naked!"...

I'm going to combine my love for political activism with my love of archery

so that I can stick it to the man from a distance

My love, you remind me the sea...

Why? is it because of my beautiful blue eyes reminding you the ocean's water?

No

I know, it's because of my curly hair, reminds you the waves.

Not really.

So it's my perfume? reminds you that fresh air near the beach?

Nope.

So what is it then?

You mak...

My love life is like Reddit meme formats

They either die in new or last only for a month.

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