UPJOKE

Miss America Jokes

There's a Miss Philadelphia contest, there's a Miss Pennsylvania contest, a Miss America contest and even a Miss Universe contest....

I wonder why the town of Big Beaver, Pennsylvania has never had a beauty contest?

What’s the opposite of Miss America?

U.S. Presidency

What's the difference between a circus and the Miss America beauty pageant?

One is a cunning array of stunts.

How ironic, a tornado tore through Miss Oklahoma's vegetable patch the day after she was crowned Miss America.

She actually got whirled peas.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can you spot the prostitute at the Miss America pageant?

She's wearing a sash that says Idaho.

Miss USA

The Sociology professor was explaining how society's ideals of beauty change
with time.

"For example," he said, "take the 1921 Miss America. She stood five foot,
one inch tall, weighed 108 pounds and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do
you think she'd do in today's ve...

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president...

...and 50 for Miss America?

In an American history discussion group, a professor is trying to explain how society’s idea of beauty changes with time.

“For example,” he says, “the winner of the Miss America pageant in 1921 stood five foot one, weighed only 108 pounds, and had measurements of 30-25-32. How do you think she’d do in today’s version of the contest?”



The class was silent until one woman comments, “She’d lose for sure.”...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Fun Facts

The reason that their are only 49 contestants in the Miss America Contest is because nobody wants to wear a banner that says "IDAHO"

My mind is like a bear trap. Rusty and illegal in 37 states.

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2 AM! Can you believe it? He's lucky I was up playing wit...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Had a weird dream last night.

I had died and met St.Peter at the Pearly Gates and he told me to go to room 101.There I will receive my punishment for all the sins I had committed in my life.I opened the door and to my amazement saw my good friend,Bob,making love to a fat,ugly woman.I shook my head and went back to see St. Peter....

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