UPJOKE

Meaning Of The Word Jokes

There are two kinds of people: those who know the meaning of the word 'inflammable',

and I would like to offer my condolences to the grieving families of the second group.

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A teacher asked the class if anyone knew the meaning of the word contagious.

Little Billy puts his hand up and the teacher says “Billy, you know the meaning of the word contagious?” Billy says “yes Miss, I do!” The teacher replies, “well then Billy, I’d like to see you use it in a sentence” Billy says “ok then, the other day my dad and I were walking down the road and saw a ...

The meaning of the word “oops” is actually highly dependent on context

I learned that when I heard my barber say it and then my brain surgeon later that day

I used to work with a hard working guy who didn't know the meaning of the word surrender, or the meaning of the word capitulate, didn't even know the meaning of the word abandon....

When he retired we bought him a dictionary.

I just taught myself the meaning of the word "autodidact".

That's it.

Some of my friends are really hurtful. I feel like many of them don't understand the meaning of the word "commitment".

I've invited them to four of my weddings in the past two years and they haven't attended any of them.

I’d like to say thanks to the person who taught me the meaning of the word “many”

It really means a lot

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"Watson, do you know the meaning of the word constipation?"

"No shit, Sherlock"

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My teacher asked me what's the meaning of the word "mother".

(This joke is originally in my native language; Thai.
Let's see how well this jokes holds up after translation)

She asked me what is the meaning of "mother"?

But I couldn't answer her, so she told me to ask my dad.

So later that evening I asked my dad, "dad, my teacher told m...

I don't know the meaning of the word "quit." I was going to look it up, but...

I still have some suicidal thoughts, but most of them have already killed themselves.

I’m a perfectionist. I’ve been writing and rewriting a suicide note for twelve years. It’s killing me.

My friend asked, “Must you write so many suicide jokes?”
“Don’t worry. I’ll stop soon.”

Ever since learning the meaning of the word exponentially my use of the word exponentially has increased

loads

The meaning of the word "Poor"

Poor (noun) = When you have too much month at the end of your money

If a man doesn't know the meaning of the word 'stop', he shouldn't even get a job as a

bus driver.

My friend told me that I didn't know the meaning of the word "ironic"...

...which was ironic, because we were at the train station.

My girlfriend told me to stop procrastinating. I said, "I don't know the meaning of the word!"

"...but I'll look it up later."

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library...

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library. The librarian who has taken good care of them for years and years is retiring. Understandably, the Dictionary and Thesaurus are both sad.

The Thesaurus says to the Dictionary "I can see how distraught you are."

The Dictionary responds "Yo...

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My girlfriend promised me we would have anal sex if we got married. We got married, and I have learned 3 things...

1. Listen more carefully
2. The meaning of the word 'annual'
3. Don't get married

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I doubt this will get many upvotes but fuck it here we go... and a true story!

My Son asked me, when he was 6, “ mum what’s a homosexual?”
Obviously put on the spot I replied “someone who has sex at home babe”

He had plenty of time to get the true meaning of the word

“We’re rotating on the earths axis at 750 mph and revolving around the Sun at 67,000 mph, moreover we’re moving, in relation to other galaxies, at 490,000 mph...”

“So my question is Your Honour, in the strictest meaning of the word ‘speeding’, are we not all in a sense ‘guilty’ ? “.

Ooh Johnny

President Obama was visiting a primary school, and visited the 1st grade classes. The class was in the middle of a lesson on words and thier meaning. Obama ask if any of the kids could give the meaning of the word "tragedy". One lil boy stood up and said " If my best freind was playing in the road a...

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One day, a kid heard her parents arguing.

She heard them yelling out bitch and bastard a couple of times. The kid intervened and asked them what does bitches and bastards mean. The mom said those words mean ladies and gentlemen.
A week later, the kid was watching TV with her dad. Later, a Victoria's Secret commercial came on, uttering th...

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Today's Word is "Definitely"

One day in a grade 3 classroom, the teacher was explaining the meaning of the word "definitely".

T: Alright class, let's use definitely in a sentence.
Jimmy raises his hand.
J: The sky is definitely blue.
T: Well Jimmy, sometimes the sky is orange, or black, or yellow...someone else?...

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