UPJOKE

Mass Produce Jokes

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At the peak of the cold war the Russians started a project to mass produce war robots.

The plan was divided into 4 stages, in the first stage the scientists were tasked to perfect the technology of remotely controlling the robots.

The second stage was giving the robots a perfectly humanoid stucture and give them the ability to perfectly copy human actions.

T...

I grow and sell fruit to Catholic churches across the country.

I mass produce mass produce.

I'm having a hard time getting excited about the Beijing Olympics.

I'm afraid they'll be mass produced and of low quality.

Why do catholic nuns have more clothes than other nuns?

Because their clothes are mass produced...

Trump Masks!

When the pandemic started I seen an opportunity! I combined the upcoming need for mask with a large political base and mass produced 600,000 Trump Masks! I have not sold any though, what am I doing wrong?

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A man wants to invent a musical instrument.

He works day and night tinkering until it is finally done. He is filled with joy and when he begins to play it he hears a light 'dink' sound from the instrument. The man is impressed with his work and tries to come up with a name for his creation. 'I know! I will call it the Doowop™.' He chooses thi...

A Russian scientist creates a robot...

The robot can clean, cook, do calculus, balance a budget, play music, and so much more.
The scientist holds a conference to announce the robot and announces that it will be released publicly for all the world to enjoy. The robot is branded with the name "Gudynuv" and is soon mass produced and s...

David and Shane worked for a small furniture company which had recently developed a new product.

They had been developing a new kind of smart shelf, and it was finally finished. This shelf had everything! Part of it featured a built in wireless charger, there were USB ports, part of it could flip up to reveal a screen which could be used as digital picture frame as well as had access to YouTube...

Eldarion, son of Aragorn, High King of the Reunited Kingdom, was bored.

In a time of peace, there was not much to do, and he was long tired of his jesters. So he called for all of his subordinates, and announced a new prestigious title to which all are given candidacy; the title of “Duke of the Best Joke”.

 

Not wanting to disappoint, Finance Mini...

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The man who loved marine mammals

There was a marine biologist, named Dr. Panglos, who loved marine mammals. (When I say he loved marine mammals though, I’m not talking about having sex with dolphins; he just loved to study them). He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Family First (original joke)

Mr. Scott Lood was a poor little farmer from Illinois who paid the bills by churning butter all day and all night. He came from a family of dairy farmers: his father was a cream maker, and his father before him a cheese maker. There was little money to be made in this line of work- so little in fact...

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