UPJOKE

Mask Off Jokes

I've worked with that dude for six weeks, but saw him with his mask off and thought he was a stranger!

It was a simple case of mask-staken identity.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Theres these two onions.

Male onion female onion, rolling along then *pop* bang into each other. Instant rapport, a torrential affair begins they couldnt get enough of each other. Pretty soon an onion bonding is occurred not long after that they think to tie the knot, get together, make it legal.

Their union was ble...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy runs into the sperm bank with a mask and a gun...

"Hands up, lady!" he yells.

The woman behind the counter puts up her hands. "Sir! This isn't a real bank! It's a sperm bank!"

"Never mind that! Just open the vault! Now!"

So she does.

"Get in there! Grab one of them vials!" he says, waving the gun at her.

"But the...

I was in the supermarket the other day with my fiance

I was in the supermarket the other day with my fiancee and pointed out a guy who had lowered his mask to pick his nose.

Her: "You're allowed to take your mask off to eat."

Guard: Get in your cell

Prisoner: You can't make me. You don't run this cell.

Guard: *rips mask off to reveal mitochondria*
Actually, I do

What’s Karen’s favorite song

Mask off by future




Edit : THANK YOU FOR MY FIRST EVER GOLD!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] A dude and a nun are on a bus... [long]

Everyday the dude asks the nun if he can have sex with her. She politely says no.
This happens every couple of days.
One night after the nun gets off the bus, the bus driver tells the dude how to have sex with her. He says,
“she goes to the graveyard every night, and she asked god to hav...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are my Testicles black?

One day an old man was taken into the recovery room he had a biopsy, he also had an oxygen mask on. The nurse walks in and takes his vitals to which he asks "Are my testicles black?". The nurse looks confused and brushes it off. When shes done he asks again "Are my testicles black?". Again she ignor...

A hooded bank robber burst into a bank demanding cash

Once his bags were full he started making his way out when a brave soldier ripped his mask off and sees his face. The robber, realizing his face has been exposed, shoots and kills him dead. The robber turns around and sees a bank teller looking him in the eyes so he walks up to him and shoots him ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little boy was playing in the alley behind his house

As he was going through some of the neighbors trash he found a welder's mask. He put it on and was pretending to weld as an old rickety van pulled down the alley. The man driving stopped next to the boy and rolled down his window.

"Hey Boy. I need some help with something and you look like ju...

So a man with a ski mask on...

...walks into a bank with a gun in hand. He runs up to the first teller and holds the gun up to her.
"This is a robbery! Gimme everything you got!"

"Bu...but sir i dont think you understand. This is a sperm bank" said the teller.

Obviously thrown off guard, the robber stands there ...

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