UPJOKE

Married People Jokes

Why do married people spin their wedding band?

They are trying to figure out the combination

How can a room full of married people be empty?

Because there’s not a single person there.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Great joke, particularly for married people.

The director of the CIA is testing loyalty of 3 new agents, ages 25, 35, and 45.  He puts each of their wives in 1 of 3 rooms.  He hands the 25 year old a gun and says, "go into the room and kill your wife."  The 25 year old says, "I can't do it, I love her too much."  The director hands the gun to ...

Some guy on twitter says all married people argue. If they say they don't, one of them is ruling over the other.

My wife told me to tell him he doesn't know what he's talking about.

Married people over 30, what's the scariest question your SO can ever ask *right now?*

"Who's _____name of your first SO______?"

What do married people do for fun?

Get divorced.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A married people joke

A man and a woman saved up money to buy a boat and the wife comes home and says "honey I need a hearing aides and it's expensive " The husband asks "is it ok if we hold off a little while and go ahead and get the boat?" She happily agrees.
They go out on the river in their fancy new boat and come...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why, what, who?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does...

Granpa walks into a church

He comes up to the priest and speaks:

-Father, I have sinned...

-What happend? Tell me.

-Few days ago my lady bent over to pick up something from the fridge and I don't know what got to me but I went on her and you know..

-Well she is your lady?

-Yes.

-And y...

a plane crashed and every single person died, but how were there still survivors of the plane crash?

the married people on the plane survived

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