How do you open a locked door with your mouth?

Communication is key

How does a ghost open locked doors?

With a Spoooooky

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My shop class teacher told me this one.

A physics teacher, an engineering teacher, and a shop class teacher all get on a plane.

As they're getting comfortable, the pilot comes in over the intercom. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen," he says, "I understand we have some teachers on our flight. We've got a special treat for them: ...

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A man died and gets shown around in heaven by St. Peter

„So, over here we have the Muslims. Very nice people, celebrating that they‘re allowed to drink up here.“

„Next we have the Jews. Also really friendly, having discussion groups with God himself from time to time.“

„There are the Buddhists, really relaxed people, just enjoying themselve...

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3 couples participated in an experiment about orgasms.

Each couple was shown a room with a bed full of sensors. Above the door leading into each room, was a special meter, akin to a speedometer, able to indicate up to 100.

So first round, couples do their routine stuff, and go see their meters. 20, 40, 60. There was a locked door however, the met...

the longest, most infuriating joke ever

One day a man decides that he wants to become a monk, so he goes to the local monastery and talks to the head monk the monk agrees to give him a tour of the monastery. During the tour they pass a corridor with a strange sound coming from the far end. The guy asks the monk what the sound is.

"...

Three men had just died...

...and went to Hell. Lucifer happily gives them a tour before stopping beside a row of three doors. At the first door, the Devil bade the first person to enter, whilst asking, "If you had one wish for anything in the world, what would it be?" The first man immediately blurted, "I want an endless sup...

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A guy starts working in a submarine...

He will be working underwater for 6 months. The captain takes him to visit the ship. He shows him the meeting rooms, the kitchen, the bedrooms, and everything else.. untill a locked door.
The captain explains to his new worker that there are only men in this submarine and he will be there for 6 m...

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