If you ever get locked out of your house talk to the lock calmly …
As communication is key.
What’s the worst part about being locked out of your car outside and abortion clinic?
Having to go inside to ask for a coat hanger
Two blondes are locked out of their car...
The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"
Locked out of the house.
I stepped out to feed the cat at 5am while everyone was still fast asleep. The door shut and locked me outside. I tried calling the wife multiple times with no answer. I tried taping on her window, banging on her window, tapping on my sons window, banging on his window, and lastly the doorbell. This...
A soldier finds a woman locked out of her car
A soldier finds a woman at the side of the road crying, and she tells him she’s left her keys in her car. The soldier assures her that he can help.
She watches amazed as he takes off his trousers, rolls them into a ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens.
"That's...
Why was the Italian locked out after dinner?
because he had 'gnocchi'
A man was locked out of his apartment
He started talking calmly but firmly to the lock... Because end of the day, communication is key.
Why are Italians always locked out of their houses when they get home?
Gnocchi
Who do Canadians call when they get locked out of their car?
Triple Eh!
My ten year old daughter told this one...
A girl and a boy are locked out of their house. They can't find any way in, so the girl leans forward and starts talking to the door lock... "Hey door lock you're looking nice today, why don't you go ahead and let us in."
The door magically unlocks itself. The boy is shocked, "how did you d...
How did the pasta chef get locked out of his house?
He came home from work with gnocchi.
Got locked out of my house on Hoth and had to sleep with my Tauntaun...
...was actually pretty comfy, my only complaint was that he was luke-warm.
I was booed off stage and locked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone too many times very poorly
They told me I had too many unsuccessful Loggins attempts
Dinner date
After a fancy dinner date, a young couple was walking back to their car, a beautiful Porsche Boxster. Upon arriving they realize that they have found themselves locked out as they left the keys inside the vehicle.
The man says to his date “hand me one of your hair pins, straighten it out and ...
Have you heard the one about the guy that got locked out of his house after having Italian for dinner?
He had gnocchi...
Credit: twitter user @Mostly_Cheese
Your wife is locked out at the front door yelling at you and your dog is barking at the back door to be let in. Which do you let in first?
Your dog, because it'll stop barking once you let it in.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
My wife told me to get dick pills
She told me to get those pills that make your dick standup.
Man was she surprised when I came back from the pharmacy with diet pills
Pls help, I'm locked out of my house
Having touble getting into my computer...
Enter Password: "FootLoose" ...
Wrong, Try again: "DangerZone" ...
Wrong, you are locked out! You are only allowed 2 incorrect Loggins.
Followed the instructions for my password but they didn’t work
It said, “Type Password”
So I entered, “Password”
Then it told me, “Your Password is Incorrect”
So I entered, “Incorrect”
To which it said, “Try Again”
So I typed, “Again”
But now for some reason I can’t do anything because it thinks my account name is “Lock...
They say confidence is key...
... I guess that's why I'm always locked out.
They say that happiness is the key to everything...
So when I got locked out of my house, I smiled at the lock
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