UPJOKE

If Saddam Hussein had married Little Miss Muffet...

Would the Kurds of had their whey?

Why did Little Miss Muffet buy a GPS for her tuffet?

Because she kept losing her whey.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Miss Muffett

Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet

Eating her curds and whey

Along came a spider who sat down beside her

And said, " 'Ey, what's in the bowl, bitch?"


-Andrew Dice Clay

What do you call a beauty pageant for still-borns?

Little Miss Carriage

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet

Eating her curds and whey.

She stuck in her thumb and pulled out a plum

And said, "I'm in the wrong nursery rhyme!"


Okay, I'll try another one...


Little Jack Horner sat in a corner

Eating his Christmas pie.

Along came a spider who sat down beside him...

What did mr and mrs Cow name their calf who they sent away to be slaughtered?

Little miss Steak.

Did you hear they’re making a Mr Men book about a woman that can’t have children?

It’s called Little Miss Carrie.

I was thinking of opening up a new business...

For teenage abortions called:
Little miss conceptions

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cinderella was being a brat...

Cinderella was being bitchy and bratty days before the ball and it pissed her fairy godmother off something furious. To teach her a lesson, the fairy godmother said;

"Look I'm not going to be heartless. You can go to the ball and dance with Prince Charming, but if you're back ONE MINUTE after...

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