UPJOKE

Life Experience Jokes

A virus walks into a bar, and sits down. The bartender tells him, "We don't serve your kind here."

The virus is momentarily taken aback by this unexpected and blatant display of bigotry, the likes of which he's only seen in history textbooks.

For a brief moment, he considers the bartender. What kind of life experiences would shape someone into such a pathetic piece of garbage? What happene...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Sailor Smitty has retired after a long life at sea, and decides to go to college.

One of the first classes he takes is “Human Sexuality 101.” Why not?

On the first day of class the professor says “We will be discussing a variety of human sexual combinations and experiences. There are a great many… “

Sailor Smitty shouts “104!”

The professor says “That...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A reporter interviews a man in the scottish hinterlands

to find out about his best life experiences.

He asks him: "What was the greatest experience in your life so far?"

Guy: "One time one of our sheep got lost in the woods. So the whole village went out and searched for it. And when we found it, everyone took turns and had sex with it. It ...

Dr. Goldberg

Dr. Goldberg was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate and medical degrees in his home town and then left for Manhattan, where he quickly rose to the top of his field.

Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper at a conference, coincidentally held in his home tow...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Horrors of War

The American military draft is for men ages 18 to 25. Seems cruel doesn't it, forcing young men to fight and die for a country that gave them nothing but some shitty public schools?

If I were running the country I'd raise the age of the draft, make sure only Americans with some real life exp...

A world renowned doctor is asked to visit a local mental institute to ensure all the patients truly belonged there...

He is told he will visit three patients and will be supervised by the institutes owner. When he arrives he visits the first patient in his room and sees the patient defecating into his own hands and smearing it on the wall. He quickly turns towards the supervisor  and says “this man truly belongs he...

A priest goes to visit an older member of his congregation at her house.

He knocks on her door and she invites him in with a big smile on her face.

"Father Johnson! It's so nice to see you here!" says the old lady. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"Well, Mrs. Smith, I've been preaching sermons at St. Mary's for 35 years and not once did you mi...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.