UPJOKE

Jumping To Conclusion Jokes

I tell people to hold their horses before jumping to conclusions.

I just want them to have stable lives.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Priest takes a walk down to the docks one day

and runs into a fisherman that attends his church. Upon hearing that the priest has a few hours off the fisherman invites him out to sea to fish with him.

Out at sea it doesn't take long for the fisherman to realize that the priest has no idea how to fish, so he gives him some quick instructi...

I asked my girlfriend if she does any other exercises...

Other than jumping to conclusions.

Why did the conspiracy theorist have such strong legs?

Because he spent so much time jumping to conclusions

My friend asked whats my favourite form of cardio

Jumping to conclusions

What do you call it when your parachute doesn't open?

Jumping to conclusion

Man to friend: " The doctor told my wife she should do some exercise."

Friend: "And is she doing this?
Man: "Well, she is - if jumping to conclusions and running up bills can be called exercise!"

I really don't understand how Karen’s aren’t in better shape...

They’re always stretching the truth and jumping to conclusions

I used to think skipping to the ends of stories would save time...

...but then I learned to stop jumping to conclusions.

How do women get excersice?

By jumping to conclusions.

New company sponsored exercise program

Now that we are all back at work from COVID, we have started a new exercise program. It includes such wonderful exercises as:
Running amok
Jumping to conclusions
Passing the buck
Point fingers
Climbing the walls
And my favorite exercise of all... diddly squats!

I wonder how many calories women burn by...

... jumping to conclusions.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do my wife and an automatic toilet flusher have in common?

They both start jumping to conclusions before I even have a chance to sit my ass down.

I get plenty of exercise.

I'm frequently jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

How my girlfriend stay's thin.

Wanna know how my girlfriend stays thin?

She burns most of her calories jumping to conclusions.

My wife loves sports...

Her favorite position is beside herself, and her favorite sport is jumping to conclusions.

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